Breaking Down The Top 10 Porn Searches For Women
Porn searches are a weird topic. Part of me thinks its a little weird in general to pop open that YouJizz browser and just start searching away. I’d say almost 99% of the time I’m just browsing those thumbnails looking for a winner. Like picking out tomatoes at the grocery store. You’re squeezing and touching. Examining, trying to pick a winner. Thats usually me watching those little thumbnails animating. I think its real weird if you’re using the ratings and reviews and categories and all that other shit. To me its bizarre if you’re like “let me sort by the opinions or all the people that have masturbated recently!” Then again, I’m the dude who just compared picking porn to shopping for tomatoes so maybe I shouldn’t throw stones.
The porn search is different though. Sometimes you just got a specific person or a specific act in mind and you wanna cut to the chase. And I’d imagine for most chicks, the search is key because there’s a LOT of weird stuff they probably arent ready for when that home screen first pops open. I know you girls like to pretend you love sex and are as kinky as guys are but tell me when was the last time you stopped to watch a double anal video or something like that. Bottom line is, I can see why chicks cut right to the search bar to find their Cinemax type lesbian stuff. But some of these other searches according to this top 10 list has got me confused as fuck. There’s some weird, perverted shit in there. So what we’re gonna do is go through the top ten and rank how kinky of a chick you are if you’re searching for these things in porn. On a scale of 1 to 5 vibrators, lets begin:
10. Lesbian Scissoring
Kink Rating: 
1 Vibrator. We all know lesbian porn just dominates in the world of chicks. Kinda weird when you think about it, no? I mean I guess the easy answer is they dont wanna see some dude’s asshole or a hairy sweaty Ron Jeremy type porn star. The female body is obviously way sexier. But it also kinda means that deep down somewhere, all chicks are kinda down to have sex with another chick. Thats just a scientific fact. Scissoring, as fun as it may be to watch, is just the fakest most impractical thing in the world, though, and thats what gets you 1 Vibrator.
9. Cartoon
Kink Rating: 
5 vibrators. And not in a good way. There can be good kinky and bad kinky and if you’re a chick and you’re searching for cartoon porn, you might be a little too weird for me. And I’m a goddam deviant. If you wanna search for something like Disney Princesses having sex, maybe we can work together. Ariel or Jessica Rabbit or Jasmine. Maybe even Lola Bunny. But if you’re searching for Family Guy porn or something like that, I am out. I’m sure there’s not much else you say no to in the bedroom but I’m not into the whole cartoon scene.
8. Japanese
Kink Rating: 
4.5 Vibrators. Searching for “Japanese” can go a lot of ways, none of which are particularly wholesome. The only reason this isnt a full 5 Vibrators is because I suppose technically you could end up on some Asa Akira type of video thats just some normal stuff. And having a thing for Asians aint too weird. But more than likely you’re either watching anime tentacle porn, about 30 pixelated dicks coming on a Japanese news anchor, or some weird Godzilla shit. You are one kinky bitch if this is your go-to
7. Babysitter
Kink Rating: 
3 vibrators. And I love it. It shows you got a little imagination. Just two random lesbian chicks scissoring ain’t enough for you. You want a little story line. You want a little more to it. You’re probably into dress up and role play and that is fantastic.
6. Teen
Kink Rating: 
2 vibrators. Kinda “blah” if you ask me. Just not much too this one.
5. Massage
Kink Rating: 
3.5 vibrators. Its a slight step up from Babysitter because chicks are always at the spa getting massages and shit. If you’re searching for this that means every time you’re getting rubbed down you’re thinking about a happy ending. Just a slip of the finger from the masseuse and away we go. Solid fantasy, ladies.
4. Gangbang
Kink Rating: 
10 fucking vibrators, all in a good way. This isnt like Cartoon or Japanese where you’re a weirdo. This is good kinky all the way. It just means you’re a down ass chick thats turned on by the aggressive stuff. You find a chick thats searching for gangbangs on her computer and I guarantee she’ll be some of the best sex of your life.
3. Squirt
Kink Rating:
5 vibrators. This is kinky as fuck. And again, deep down this means all you chicks are at least bi. No way you can open up your computer and be like “I want to see a vagina gushing like a geyser” and at least not be a little curious. I suppose the flip side would be saying all guys are gay if they search for money shots, but guess what? Thats just not true. This is another male/female double standard that you’re just gonna have to deal with.
2. Threesome
Kink Rating:
2 vibrators. Not bad, but nothing special. Probably can move up the scale towards a 3 or 4 depending on how hardcore shit gets. But in general just searching for “threesome” is pretty vanilla.
1. The undisputed champ of girl porn…Lesbian
Kink Rating:
1 vibrator. Lesbian porn. You knew it was gonna be number 1. Lesbian porn is BORRRR-ING. I’m not trying to just watch 2 chicks go down on each other for like 20 mins. I mean if I was watching in reality it would probably be the greatest moment of my life. But watching at home on the computer when there’s all sorts of Japanese cartoon gangbangs at the massage parlor videos I can watch? Cmon now. You wanna narrow down that search to the good stuff then go for it. But if you’re just rocking out with “lesbian” in the search bar you gotta step your game up. Might as well just search “sex.”
So in conclusion, ladies – you wanna be somewhere in the middle of that pack where you’re not some sort of weirdo with a cartoon Asian fetish, and you’re not some vanilla “lesbian” fan. Just check out some gangbangs with squirting and you’ll probably find a husband in like a week.