Wake Up With A "Did You Know?": Germany Had A Plan For A Mainland Invasion Of The United States
Fucking Adolf, man. Guy loved invading places and just blitzkrieging everyone. Just an all-time scumbag. With that being said he had nothing to do with this German invasion of America. This was well before his time. Before America made Germany tap out the first time even. This was back in the 1890s thanks to this guy
Ole Penis Helmet himself Kaiser Wilhem II. So the Kaiser was only the 2nd Monarch in the history of Germany. Germany as we know it today didn't even really exist until 1871. Before that it was all these smaller little Kingdoms and City States until they all united under one flag and ruler. Wilhem II was coronated in 1888 and he wanted to play colonial ball with the big boys, France and England, but by the time he was in charge all the good shit was taken. England and France called dibs on basically the entire world. Attacking British or French colonies overseas would definitely mean war at home in Europe and the Kaiser didn't want that so he started looking around for other easy targets and Cuba and Puerto Rico looked so sweet and Spain was basically washed up. He could scoop those up easy...except.. America.
America had the Monroe Doctorine. Basically said to European powers that we won't fuck with your hemisphere if you don't fuck with ours. The Kaiser's advisors told him that if he tried to seize Cuba and Puerto Rico then Germany would probably be at war with the United States. His reaction to news like this...
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Instead of being like "ah fuck. That's right. War with America would be bad" he decided to tell his advisors to fuck themselves and draft up an invasion plan of the United States. Basically the plan had three phases, but what the Kaiser was presented with was a plan that would have a GIANT naval attack. Just have so many ships that the US wouldn't know what to do with them. Germany wanted to basically do a blitzkrieg at sea and then use the ships to blockade and bombard American sea ports like Boston, New York, etc until we said uncle and we just told them they could have Cuba and Puerto Rico and we'd look the other way. The Kaiser loved it. Only problem was that Germany didn't have enough ships to do this plan. While Germany was off building a giantic navy for this plan America went ahead and declared war on Spain first and took Cuba and Puerto Rico for themselves. Fucking up Germany's entire plan
Kaiser Willy 2 knew what he wanted though. So he took that first plan and decided to give it steroids. Phase 2...60 war ships, 40 transport ships, 100,000 soldiers, and 75000 tons of coal to America for a full on invasion. Land at Cape Cod, put Boston under seige. Do the same thing to New York City and poof...America would surrender and give the Kaiser what he wanted since they'd be in a poor negotiating position. Cuba, Puerto Rico, maybe Hawaii and the Phillipines.
By this time though things were heating up in Europe. Britain and France signed an alliance and France also signed one with Russia so now Germany was completely surrounded
So the Kaiser decided to focus on his neighbors and stuck the plan for invading America in a drawer...literally. These plans to invade America weren't known by anyone outside of the Kaiser's war council until the 1970s when someone stumbled on them in a West German military archive.
I love stories like this. Wondering what could've been. Decisions like this impact the World for hundreds, sometimes thousands, of years and ultimately a grand invasion plan came down to one guy in Germany just sitting going "hmmmmm ehhh nahhhhh" and then World War One happens. Maybe America enters World War One a lot earlier because we wanted revenge on Germany for bombing NYC and Boston. Maybe if we get in earlier then the Allies win more quickly. If the Allies win more quickly then maybe the repairations and sanctions against Germany aren't as stiff as they were in 1919. Maybe if they aren't as stiff Germans aren't as angry and they don't feel the need to elect a PSYCHOPATH shown at the top of this blog and we don't have WWII. Just an endless butterfly effect. Something to think about. Have a good day.