Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher
Florida – A 29-year-old English teacher who allegedly had a four-month affair with her underage student and aborted his child, has been charged. Jennifer Christine Fichter was arrested yesterday after allegedly confessing to the 17-year-old boy’s mother that she’d had sex with the teen up to 30 times, loved him and had no regrets. The Central Florida Aerospace Academy teacher was arrested… police said the abuse began in November when the pair had sex in the early morning hours in Fichter’s Toyota pickup truck. The teen told detectives he and Fichter met for sex three times in the parking lot of a Lakeland apartment complex and three times near New Tampa Highway. He also said they had sex four times outside the city in Polk and Hillsborough… The illegal meetings were discovered by the teen’s suspicious mother on January 27. When she noticed her son was not home at 5am and lied about his whereabouts, she looked through his cell phone and found texts from two names. One discussed an ‘age difference’. Police said the mum confronted her son, who admitted both names were used by Fichter…According to the victim’s mother, Fichter admitted to the sexual encounters and professed her love for him.
Way to go, Central Florida Aerospace Academy. That’s 30 sexual encounters for man, one giant Teacher Sex Scandal for mankind. I mean, this is exactly the kind of kid we want leading America into space in the 21st century. A steely-eyed missile man. A 17 year old who slipped the surly bonds of condoms and touched the face of the SST gods. And I can think of no one teaching these kids what the Right Stuff is all about more than Jennifer Fitcher. Maybe she doesn’t have the whole Birth Control thing down, but it doesn’t mean she can’t teach them about Mission Control. I just like to think when he tried to put a Trojan on she said “You have never put a bun in my oven and it’s not going happen on my watch! Rubbers are not an option!!!” Or when she texted the kid to say she’s pregnant she said “Houston, we have a problem lol! ;)” and they had a good laugh about it. Unless the kid is studying to be a pilot, in which case she could’ve done the whole Charlie Blackwood/Maverick thing. “What do you wanna do? Just drop down on the tile and go for it?” thing or “I see some real genius in your flying, Maverick, but I can’t say that in there. I was afraid that everyone in the tax trailer would see right through me, and I just don’t want anyone to know that I’ve fallen for you.” Because either one works. All I do know is this exactly the kind of brave souls we need leading America to infinity and beyond. To boldly go where no Central Florida Aerospace Academy teacher has gone before. Godspeed, Miss Fichter. Go throttle up, 17 year old.
The Grades:
Looks: I have to admit those look like pictures of two different people. The top one has kind of a Jodie Foster vibe, and the second one has the unrepentant smile and crazy eyes of an SST legend. Both are plenty good to warrant a solid Grade: B
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: What’s not to admire? 30 encounters. No birth patrol. Looking the kids mom in the eye and ‘fessing up? If Jennifer wanted to stand out in Florida, the SST State, she sure knew how to go about it. Grade: A
Intangibles: Just count those puns. And I barely got started. I could’ve gone all day. An easy Grade: A+
Overall: A-. An ironclad lock to make the year end All Star squad.
[Thanks to my buddy Brink] Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students? Preferably with pictures? Help make the world safe for Teacher Sex Scandals by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.