Oprah's Boyfriend Steadman Had A Blast At The Oscars

Steadman. I dont even know his last name. He’s just Steadman. Steadman Winfrey as far as I’m concerned. Guy is a bonafide genius. Be Oprah’s “boyfriend” AKA beard for like 30 years and just reap all the benefits. But I think we’re officially in a Weekend At Bernies situation with Steadman. Guy’s face didnt change for like 4 hours last night at the Oscars. He sat there all night, eyes dead, mouth open. Flies were probably flying in and out of his pie hole last night. Thing was gaping Belladonna style. There was one brief moment where he closed up shop but quickly fixed the situation:

Laugh out loud funny. That jaw drops right back into formation at the last second. Steadman was like a goddam Oscars Statue all night. And then Oprah probably wheeled him  out of there at the end of the night and locked him away in the West Wing of her compound and let him go enjoy her billions while she probably had sex with Gayle King. He’s probably clinically dead but Oprah had a team of doctors resuscitate him so she can continue to parade him around as her boyfriend to avoid weird questions. Diabolical plot from Oprah. 

Cue the obligatory Chappelle Show skit: