Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher
Texas – A former Abbott Independent School District teacher was arrested Wednesday afternoon after the Hill County Sheriff’s Office said they discovered she had a physical and emotional relationship with a 14-year-old male student. Chrystal Miller, 33, was charged … after a parent of the victim saw a conversation between them on Facebook, according to the sheriff’s office… “She had really groomed him over the course of a year,” Wilson said. “It wasn’t until the end of that time that it became physical…” he said. “He was being manipulated by an older person. Once it become physical, that’s when he started having problems. He became very withdrawn, very quiet, and he just wasn’t himself. His parents noticed that.”
You know why it doesn’t bother me that my country is a non-powerhouse in soccer? That our own coach says we have no hope of winning the supposedly biggest event in the world? That my fellow countrymen are giddy over a Game 1 win against a nation none them can find on a map and that probably has the GNP of Martha’s Vineyard? Because America still leads the globe in all the important stuff. Bacon production. Child beauty pageants. Superhero movies. Drone manufacturing. And Sex Scandal Teachering. Sure, the rest of the world loves futbol. But since most of those are places that treat women like dogs and dogs like Angus beef, since when do we care what they think? And I assure you that no other country on Earth can come close to our record for crazed, horndog teachers seducing their 14 year old male students. In most of the world, a Chrystal Miller would be the biggest scandal their school system has ever had. But here she’s just a below average, garden variety SST who barely rates a mention. And in a traditional SST superpower like Texas, she doesn’t even show up on radar. So be proud, my fellow ‘Mericans. When it matters most, we’re still No. 1!
The Grades:
Looks: Her mug shots looked much better until I found this full body one. Every time I see a slumpbuster body type like Chrystal Miller I think of Hannibal Lecter’s classic, “Was she a large girl? Big, through the hips? Rrrr-oomy?” Grade: C-
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: You have to admire her approach. The way she played the long con, spending a year “grooming” the kid. You rarely see that in her line of work, because if you wait too long the kid becomes a has been of 15, 16, even 17. Of course if she was in better shape she could’ve gotten in done in an afternoon. But you’ve got to play the cards you’re dealt. Grade: B-
Intangibles: I suppose if your son is going to start having problems, becoming withdrawn and quiet and not being himself because he’s gotten hooked on the Chrystal, this is sort of best case scenario. Grade: A
Overall: C. The definition of average.
[Thanks again to my brother Bill in Alaska. Taming the last frontier one SST story at a time.] Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students? Preferably with pictures? Help make the world safe for Teacher Sex Scandals by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.