Rate The Cast Of The New "Saved By The Bell" Lifetime Movie
So apparently Dustin Diamond wrote some tell all book about how everyone in Saved by the Bell was getting fucked up on set all the time and having sex with each other. Lifetime decided to turn this into a movie, “The Unauthorized Saved By the Bell.” Very intrigued by this. I would watch the HELL out of a Kelly-Zach sex scene. However, the original cast of course will not be in it. So let’s take a peek at the new kids in school…
Kelly Kapowski
New chick is cute, for sure. But this is Kelly Kapowski we’re talking about. She’s a goddess. I saw a YouTube once of people who thought being gay was a choice and the person would ask back “Oh yeah, when did you choose to be straight?” and the people didn’t have an answer. Well I do. It was when I first laid eyes on Kelly, that’s when I chose to be straight.
Rating: 2 Bayside Tigers sweatshirts , cut to expose a shoulder
Zach Morris
Zach Morris is, and forever will be, the coolest guy to walk this earth. The only person who could’ve possibly pulled it off was Zac Efron a few years ago.
Rating: Zero outrageously large cell phones
AC Slater
AC was a cool and athletic dude with a thousand watt smile and a sweet gerri curl mullet. This dude looks like someone I’d buy weed off.
Rating: Zero pairs of acid wash jeans worn while sitting backwards on a chair after doing pushups.
Screech
Actually pretty good. Turns out a dorky dude with a Jew fro isn’t too hard to cast in Hollywood.
Rating: 4 whatever the hell Screech was known for besides being weird
Jesse Spano
Hot. Real hot. Maybe too hot? But she looks like she can pull off the smart, kinda bitchy girl vibe for sure.
Rating: 4 caffeine pills
Lisa Turtle
Hot again. Hot enough to watch her hook up with Screech in whatever fucked up kind of scene Dustin Diamond wrote for that? Ehhhhhh… yes. I’m not proud of that answer, but yeah I would.
Rating: 4 turned down Screech advances
All in all, it’s a solid cast and I will watch the shit out of a drug and sex fueled Bayside High. Need to know who’s playing Belding though, probably the real Belding. Hopefully the real Belding.