Drunk Dude Tries To Move An 11 Foot Alligator Because There's No Way That Could Go Wrong
(Source) — A man left needing 80 stitches after he and two friends tried to tackle an 11-foot alligator which was blocking a road in Sulphur, Louisiana, says he’s learned his lesson. “I’ve always been the kind of guy who learns the hard way,” said Glen Bonin. Bonin and three of his friends tried to move the alligator out of the way on Prater Road just south of Sulphur. “(We) took our shirts off, threw it on his (the gator’s) face, and we were going to come from behind it and jump on it… in the process of doing that, it spun around and grabbed my hand seconds before we jumped on it,” Bonin said. The alligator then snapped at Bonin, biting his hand and sending him into a daze. “It felt like someone was pulling my arm out. I thought I was about to lose something. It felt like it lasted forever,” Bonin said. “Hopefully with therapy I’ll be able to straighten out my ring finger and pinky a little bit,” Bonin added. Officials with the enforcement division of the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries stress that if you come into contact with an alligator or any wildlife, do not try to handle it on your own. Instead, call local law enforcement or the local LDWF office.
I was ready to call this guy a dumb redneck idiot but then I remembered a little phrase my mom invented: don’t throw stones if you live in a glass house. Is thinking that a tshirt over the face is enough to distract an eleven foot alligator stupid? Yeah, I guess so. Is needing to find out the hard way that you probably shouldn’t mess with an alligator while drunk ridiculous? Sure. But who hasn’t made a bad drunken decision or two in their lifetime? I learned that you shouldn’t jump off 30 foot cliffs if you don’t know how deep the water beneath it is after a few beers. I learned that you shouldn’t try and drive your car across a river even if it isn’t too deep. I learned that rope swings should be tested before swung on. All of these are important life lessons that you wouldn’t think a person needed to learn, yet I did. So you won’t find me pointing and laughing at Glen Bonin. I’ll just thank him for his research and write “11 foot alligators, not to be trifled with.” in my Book of Wisdom.