#Braxit Update: Mike Vrabel Denies Tampering Amid Reports He FaceTimed Brady Just to Put Pressure on Ryan Tannehill

There’s not a sentient being in the observable universe who didn’t watch Mike Vrabel FaceTiming Tom Brady right in front of Julian Edelman and the Patriots’ collective face and not reach the only logical conclusion: He was blatantly tampering his ass off.

This morning Vrabel was asked about it and offered a tepid defense, involving old memories of training camp in Smithfield, RI and some dive where they used to throw back ‘Gansetts with Mike Compton and Joe Andruzzi or something:

“Listen, my relationship goes back to 2001 with Tom Brady. Training camp at Rhode Island, at Parente’s. We’d go practice and a bunch of us would go out to the bar at Parente’s after practice. That’s where a lot of those friendships were made. And those friendships aren’t going to stop or not continue to grow and develop now that I’m a head coach and he’s a quarterback with an expiring contract.”

Well it’s just possible that he is telling the semi truth. A report (paywall) from Greg Bedard suggests Vrabel had a different agenda: 

The truth is there isn’t much of a market, at least not with teams Brady really wants to or would play for. You, me, the Patriots and the lampost know Brady is not playing for Raiders or Bucs. He might, at the very end, play for the Chargers but they might go another direction before that. The Giants and Colts are out. League sources expect the Titans to lock in Ryan Tannehill at some point at a cheaper rate thanks to the Brady leverage, although that could change.

Hmm. Interesting. There are million unsubstantiated reports flying around like insects in a Biblical plague. But this is one I believe. For the simple reason that I choose to believe it.

This strikes me as your classic Bill Belichick long con. A diabolical master plan in which he and the former Steelers linebacker he turned into a 3-ringed legend with a thriving coaching career help each other out. 

Vrabel feigns interest in Brady, establishes the Titans as the favorites to land him. That scares off other teams who otherwise might come at the GOAT with cap busting offers but are intimidated into looking for other solutions. In return, Vrabes puts the fear of God info Tannehill, who thinks he has all the leverage after leading the league in Passer Rating in a pro career where he has defined the term “average quarterback.” That forces Tannehill to come to the table more willing to take whatever Tennessee offers. For his part, Brady gets to help his old friend and teammate, stay with the coach he’s never wanted to leave in the first place, and tie the brains of an entire league into balloon animals as vengeance for the way they’ve mistreated him since he came out of Michigan. Win, win, win.

Is that a stupid, ridiculous, conspiracy theory? Sure. But in an offseason full of them, it’s the conspiracy theory I’m embracing.