This Product Called The Cuchini Is Trying To Put Me Out Of The Camel Toe Business
Metro- Ever heard of a Cuchini? No neither had we. But the disturbingly named underwear pad has been silently waging a war against that well-known fashion faux-pas, the camel toe, for years. And now, thanks to Bravo’s latest reality show, Game Of Crowns, which follows beauty queens competing in Mrs USA pageants, the underground beauty secret has been blown wide open. The Cuchini, which has the tag line ‘our lips are sealed’ (grim), is a reusable, adhesive triangular pad that women put in their knickers or bikini bottoms for a smoother appearance. One of the stars of Game Of Crowns, Lynne Diamante (yes, Diamante), explains the need for the Cuchini: ‘If you’re in a swimsuit competition, the swimsuit competition suits are usually tiny and tight. The judges are below you and the audiences is below you.’ Enough said, right?
What the hell? Back the truck up. I’m not saying the makers and marketers of this product are taking a direct shot at me with these but they for sure are. You don’t think they’ve seen me putting toes on blast for the last 6 months? Get your head in the real world. These people want me out of business. What they don’t seem to understand is that Better Know A Camel Toe is a celebration of the female body. Nothing more. It’s taken the masses by storm. I’ll only say this once, any girl who decides to wear a Cuchini is running away from their own natural beauty. Simple as that. Am I worried? I don’t know, maybe a little bit. These better not become a thing. Finding pictures of a girl’s bikini getting eaten by her lips isn’t always easy. These will make it even less easy. Then again, maybe I’m getting worked up about nothing. Sounds like the product has been around for awhile now so maybe girls would just rather show off the goods as opposed to buying a cuhcini and hiding them. That’s what I’ll be telling myself at least.
PS- If we’re being totally honest here, “Our Lips Are Sealed” is a FANTASTIC tag line for the product. Genius stuff. But still, fuck them.
#BKACT
h/t @bigtint13