Richard Marx - 80’s Rock Ballad Superstar - Murdered A Man On Twitter

(Please press play as you read to set the tone)

Richard Marx...from the parking lot! With absolutely zero regard for human life! I feel like Richard Marx is like a Terminator, traveling through time with the sole purpose being to murder Bob Tona in broad daylight. Like he hopped in the Delorean in 1988, traveled through time, stepped out and blew this man away with a sawed off shotgun. Like Looper. He just appeared from 30 years ago and eradicated this man.

As he should, by the way. Talk shit, get hit. Richard Marx has sold 30 million records in his life; a number just shy of the number of bitches he’s fucked. He’s married to Daisy Fuentes, one of the hottest chicks of all time. She DOMINATED my era as an MTV VJ

And she has aged like a fine ass wine. Check out her and Dick Marx today:

Hold up, real quick, lemme ask you a question - does this guy right here:

Does he look like he’s here for the bullshit? No. No he’s not here for the bullshit. He’s not here for it now and he wasn’t there for it back then:

You can pull all that cutesy twitter troll bullshit you want, just know that he’s going to respond with the force of a goddam tidal wave. A tsunami of machismo. He looks like a mix of Dennis Reynolds and fucking me…with the confidence of a man who’s got one of the greatest love ballads of all time, one of the hottest wives of all time, and what I’m going to assume is a 9 inch dick. Go ahead, chirp him and ask him what his songs are. Go ahead and imply that he’s washed up or shouldn’t be famous. Go ahead and do it. Because he can, and will, assassinate you in front of your peers. He will remind you quick fast that ya girl got banged out by her previous boyfriends listening to his voice. Richard Marx will let you know that he serenaded your girl’s pussy loonggg before you ever got up in there.  

Richard Marx is like Bryan Mills from Taken mixed with 80’s power ballad musician - wherever you go, whatever you do, Richard Marx will be right here on twitter waiting for you. Dirt nap. Night night.  

PS - don’t sleep on his original tweet, just filled to the brim with unbridled RAGE over idiots on twitter mixing up you’re and your. Calling the internet masses “willfully ignorant stupid fucks” is a big fuckin mood. What a role model Richard Marx is. Hugely successful music career, top 1% love life, and the patience of an absolute lunatic who's looking to snatch a soul or 2 on the internet. I wanna be Richard Marx when I grow up.