I Think Bonobos Is the Most Overated Company In the World

So as everybody knows I don’t wear jeans anymore. I quit that bitch last year. (Except when I’m Verlandering) Anyway I wrote a blog a couple months about about how when I tried to replenish my inventory of pants Club Monoco stole them all.. Well people kept telling me Bonobos was where it was at. Bonobos this, Bonobos that blah, blah, blah. So a couple weeks ago I decided to give it a shot. I walked to the store next to Joes Bar and Grille on Newbury Street. Place was packed and tiny. Way too much shit going on and I couldn’t get anybody’s attention so I left. Naturally the next time somebody chirped at me about Bonobos I replied that I went there and it was a shitshow. I was then told that the whole key to buying Bonobos is to buy them online. Fine.

Long story short I bought like 6 pairs of pants from them online. The good news is that the delivery was fantastic and fast and returns are simple. The bad news is that every single pair of pants fit differently. I’m talking 6 pairs of 36-30 (FUCK YOU DAVE) all fit totally different. Some were way to long. Some were perfect. Some were loose around the waist. Some were tight. Every pair was radically different. How can that be? When you google Bonobos it’s a common complaint too. Worst part is they don’t even offer alterations in the store. I had to take them to a tailor and paid 150 bucks to get them all fixed so they fit. I could give a shit less about the money but the entire process has been a pain in the ass. I don’t see how anybody thinks buying pants from Bonobos is an easy process. Sure the pants are nice once you get them all tailored and shit, but so are Club Monaco’s if they don’t steal them first. By far the best pants experience I’ve had is at Hugo Boss. The best pants, best customer service and best tailoring. Also the most expensive but you get what you pay for I suppose.