Dwight Howard Used To Stalk Porn Actress Mary Carey While She Was Fucking Chris Kirkpatrick Of NSYNC
(Source) — Back when Dwight Howard was playing with the Magic he had a brief relationship with porn star Mary Carey. Carey who became porn star famous because she resembled Mariah Carey, gave one of the greatest stories of all time about Dwight Howard back in 2009, which you can read below.
“Dwight’s a cool guy. For a month, we like talked on the phone, and he was always trying to give me prayers to get me out of porn and give me Bible verses to read. So then, I was going to go visit him when I was in Orlando, but I went over to this other guy’s house instead, Chris Kirkpatrick from N’Sync. And then Dwight started calling, and calling, and calling me, because he knew I was with Chris Kirkpatrick, so eventually at 3 in the morning, Chris was like don’t answer Dwight’s calls. “I get a text from Dwight at 3 in the morning — I’m outside Chris’s house. I’m like oh my god, what do I do? I was like, I got Dwight here and I got Chris in the other room and I’m talking to them back and forth. So finally I had to just pull Dwight in the bathroom and tell him he needs to go home. I was like I’m really sorry, I really like you, but this isn’t the time or place. When I pull him in the bathroom, he pulls his pants down, I was like, whoa. Yeah, and so I ran and started screaming.”
What an absolutely outrageous headline I just wrote. There’s a real chance that was just a Mad Libs: (Athlete everyone hates) was (creepy behavior) (a washed up porn star) while she fucked (“the ugly one” of a 90s boy band). So fucking preposterous. Mary Carey comes out with one of these random stories every few years to remain relevant. I think she was banging Melky Cabrera for a bit and that was on video or something? Then I’m pretty sure she ran for governor of California? I guess you gotta do what you can to keep your name in the press when you got famous for looking like Mariah Carey and no one gives a fuck about her anymore. Also I don’t recall Mary Carey ever doing hardcore and that’s also going to send your career downward. In a world where anal is normal, you’re not going to stay in the limelight if you just take off your bikini and rub your big fake tits.
As for the story itself? I’m going to believe it because it makes my life a lot more enjoyable to assume it’s true. If this is fake then my day is back to being a boring day where I sat on the couch with the flu and nothing of note really happened. But if it’s true in my head? Then Dwight Howard spent a month using God to try and make a girl keep her clothes on, so she went ahead and fucked Chris Kirkpatrick instead. That made Dwight jealous so he went over to Kirkpatrick’s house and was like “OK fine if you’re gonna keep hoeing then here’s my dick.” (A dick so big a porn star ran screaming). That’s a fantastically exciting day. Sorry I’m selfish and care more about my personal enjoyment than the truth. This is now fact.