The 6 Worst Super Bowl Commercials, Ranked
For some reason I have a pretty good feeling the other cities will have a thing or two to say about the actual game for the next few blogs..or few months..so might as well jump into the second most important part of the big game last night. The commercials.
6) Coke
Shit just hit home with me. This is basically a Barstool blogger’s Twitter feed all day every day.
And Coca Cola ain’t gettin my back from renegade commenters. You’re a soda. You’re not anybody’s hero you just give them yellow teeth and diabetes.
5) Nissan “With Dad”
Didn’t realize I just bought a movie ticket. Guy it’s a Super Bowl commercial, make me laugh for a few seconds then get the fuck out of my face. Soooooo much sappy this year, sooooo much sappy. And this one didn’t even make me feel anything except hey dad, want to impress me, pick me up in something nicer than a fucking Nissan.
4) Carnival Cruises
Dude every one of your cruises ends with everyone like dying from Norovirus and covered in human shit. Don’t drag JFK into your shit cruises.
3) GoDaddy
Whoever did your advanced analytics and told you to skip the boobs and go with a “selling puppies” black humor joke, fire their ass. Have Danica do it personally while wearing a skin tight latex suit with lots of cleavage then film it for your next commercial. Boom, I just saved your company.
2) Like A Girl
Oh yeah, girls are the only ones whose self esteem drops during puberty. Hey Always, you ever see me when I was going through puberty? Think that shit was fun for me or something? Reverse sexism like you read about.
And I’m sorry but they call it throwing like a girl for a reason. Girls literally throw like a girl.
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1) Nationwide obviously
Shit got real heavy, realll fast last night. 0 to 100 at lightning speed. Aww a cute little kid, awww a cute puppy in a sailboat, awwwwOhhh my god what? What the fuck?
Remember everyone, as you’re kicking back with friends to watch the biggest sporting event on the planet and enjoy a great football game…your child could literally be dying right now. Maybe already even dead. Buy our insurance!
PS – Best ones:
(not gonna lie I was a little on edge during this one, it came real soon after the Nationwide commercial)