The Top 10 Happiest Jobs In America List Just Proves Nobody Is Happy At Their Job
WTOP - School principals may oversee discipline in schools, but a new survey ranked the occupation as the happiest job in America for 2015. Online jobs site CareerBliss analyzed more than 25,000 reviews from its users over a two-year period to determine the 10 happiest jobs in 2015, and school principal ranked No. 1. Executive chefs ranked No. 2 because “successful head chefs have the pleasure of cooperating with a team to design and orchestrate meals using their own recipes,” reports USA TODAY. Below is the full list of the top 10 happiest jobs in 2015, according to CareerBliss.
School principal
Executive chef
Loan officer
Automation engineer
Research assistant
Oracle database administrator
Website developer
Business development executive
Senior software engineer
Systems developer
School principal is number 1. School. Principal. If you gave me 1,000 guesses of happiest job, I would never in 10,000 guesses had picked school principal to be the happiest. Let’s go through a principal’s day: Wake up at 5 in the fucking morning because school starts at an ungodly hour. Get to school, deal with teachers who hate their jobs and deal with students who hate everything. Seriously, nobody is happy at school after about 2nd grade. Teachers LOVE bitching about EVERYTHING. It’s not enough they get Summers off, god forbid they have to buy a box of tissues for the classroom, they proceed to talk about it like it’s World War 3. When a job where you have to deal with kids who can’t even wipe their own asses or bitchy teenagers all day is considered “happy”, it 100% proves that every job outside of being a professional athlete is depressing and awful.
I suppose executive chef could be good if you can put the fact you’re a glorified monkey. You’re just slaving away, cooking up food for people to complain about if they don’t like it. Which probably happens all the time because if there is one thing people like doing, it’s bitching about things. You can be the best chef in the world and there will always be people who say your food sucks.
The rest of the jobs on this “happy” list? Insane. Loan officer just helping other people reach their dreams as you sit there and push paper, going nowhere in life. And the rest of the jobs is just one big DevNest. Think anyone in the DevNest is happy right now? DevNestNate hasn’t slept in 6 months, his bloodstream is pure Red Bull and Adderall at this point, and then his site committed suicide in front of his face this morning.
So the moral of the story is find a job that will pay you as much money as possible, because every job sucks anyway. Forget following your dreams. Don’t pay out of your asshole for some English degree that will never get you a job. Just go into finance, do spreadsheets from 9-5 for your whole life, booze heavily on weekends, and try to get some sort of happiness out of your life, because apparently if you aren’t a school principal or a tech nerd your life is going to suck regardless.