There's No Such Thing As "Cutest Shark Attack Ever" ... It's a Fucking Shark Attack
This video is making the rounds today, and it’s the most bullshit video title of all time. There’s absolutely no such thing as a cute shark attack. You see why right? The key words in that sentence are “shark attack”. You don’t cutely get mauled by a shark, even if it’s a video Smitty is posting. Because you know why? Sharks are trying to bite your dick off at every given second. Sharks aren’t cuddly. Sharks aren’t cute. All sharks are born to kill you. It’s in their DNA. And if that shark couldn’t kill him, you know it’s big momma shark was stalking you around the corner, ready to take their heads off. The fact anyone would call a killer shark attack “cute” is a disgrace. Next thing you know, they’ll be “cute” hurricanes and “cute” sinkholes. All are deadly, man eating cold blooded killers, and there’s nothing cute about that. PS: We’re all gonna die.