What EYE Would Pay Dalvin Cook

Concerning news, to say the least. Look, I support fair wages for fair work. Dalvin Cook turned in a dynamite campaign last year and he deserves to be recognized for it. He made his first Pro Bowl appearance and finished in the top-10 in attempts, yards, rushing first downs and rushing touchdowns. He also chipped in another 50+ catches out of the backfield on the season and turned in a beauty of a postseason performance as the Vikings upset the Saints in New Orleans (31 touches for 130 total yards, 2 TDs). He's a fine player.

HOWEVER, he's not asking to be paid like a "fine player". It sounds like he's being asked to be paid like a Christian McCaffrey type player.

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McCaffrey got a four-year extension worth $64 million dollars, $30 million guaranteed at signing in April. I want two things on the record.

1. McCaffrey is better at football than Dalvin Cook. I will give everyone a minute to catch their collective breaths.
2. I wouldn't have paid McCaffrey either.

We've seen time and time again that paying running backs tends to end poorly. Hopefully, McCaffrey can buck that trend because he's a joy to watch. The same goes for Cook, so I'm not saying that he shouldn't be paid. I'm just saying that I wouldn't pay him. Not legal tender at least. But here are a number of things I'd be happy to pay Dalvin Cook:

• A visit, to help him pack up his things in Minnesota.
• My condolences, as moving to a new city during a pandemic can't be fun.
• A compliment, on the tremendous season he had last year.
• My respects, as he will be missed as a Viking.
• Zero mind, as he tries to shake me down for a new contract.
• It forward, as I'll gladly put in a good word to other GM's interesting in signing him.
• Monopoly money

To be fair, here are a couple of things I just would not feel comfortable paying Dalvin Cook:

• Money (Fiat or commodity)
• Cash
• Yen
• Francs
• Pesos
• Pounds
• Rubles
• the Paraguayan guarani

I hope this clarifies any prior miscommunication on the matter. Best of luck, Dalvin!