New Russian App "Tittygram" Is Being Called The "Uber for Boobs"
Moscow Times – When Moscow law firm Family Case, whose website boasts a knack for “the delicate resolution of family problems,” decided to advertise recently, it chose a new way to attract new clients: Tittygram. Tittygram, a new Russian start-up website that markets itself as “Uber for boobs,” allows anyone to send a photo with a message written on a young woman’s breasts. In Family Case’s photo, the words “divorce lawyer” were written just below the neck of a buxom woman with the firm’s website scrawled below that on her pushed-up breasts. “Divorce, tits, they’re quite close to each other,” joked Vladimir Bachurin, a partner at the firm, in a telephone interview Monday, adding that he found Tittygram “amusing.” To send a Tittygram, customers pay $9.95 and a model writes their message — maximum 35 characters — on their breasts, which are never fully shown and have no nipples in sight, and sends it on. The model’s face is not visible either. The site, which launched at the end of March, has proved so popular that staff are working 24 hours a day and 2,000 photos have been sent out already, Tittygram CEO Vladimir Gritsenko told The Moscow Times on Monday in a phone interview from the Volga River city of Ulyanovsk where the company is based. Most people use Tittygram to send birthday wishes or congratulations messages, he said. One message on the site has a drawing of Albert Einstein’s head on a left breast and the equation E=m*c2 on the right breast. Models get at least 150 rubles per photo, he said. As with the taxi app Uber, there is a surcharge if demand is high, he said. The website donates 2 percent of its proceeds to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. The company already has models from the United States, China and South America on its books, he said, adding that it was “open to anyone who has something to offer.” When U.S. fast-food chain Burger King in Russia used Tittygram to advertise its services, publishing a photo on Instagram with the words “I love Burger King” written on a pair of breasts, most — but not all — of the comments were enthusiastic.
This is one of those moments where you just kick yourself. Kick yourself right in your own ass for not thinking of this first. Its so easy. So goddam simple. Its not rocket science to come up with an app that people would love. Take 1 of the most popular apps in the world – Uber. Add another 1 of the most popular apps in the world – instagram. Take something that everyone in this world loves – tits, and add them all together. Uber + Instagram + Tits = $$$$$. Cash Money Dollhairs. Honest Coin Money flowing out of their Russian assholes.
Makes me upset America didnt come up with this one first. This seems like one that we should have chalked up to the good old US of A. I mean to be honest I’d probably use this for ever major occasion ever. No longer are you just getting a bland birthday text from me. Now you’re getting a birthday tittytext. Pretty much every invitation I ever send out? Tittytation. You just had a new baby? Contitulations, have fun with your new child sucking on your tits! There’s nothing in this world that cant be made better by boobs, and thats just a fact. So I tip my cap to you, Russia. You win this round.
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Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go invent Asstagram and do the same exact fucking thing with girls butts.
PS – I would have just gone with Buber or Boober, no?
PPS – The surge rate is absolutely hilarious. I’m just envisioning some Russian youth hostel with like 12 chicks with huge tits and they’re currently all getting messages written on their tits by dudes in Adidas sweatsuits and there’s such a high demand for titty messages but not enough titties to go around. Some Russian boss is barking out orders that they’re surging. “300 rubles! Tell them the price is now 300 rubles!”