Telling Your Boss To Go Fuck Himself Never Ends Well... (Part One)

As an Apprentice Plumber, there's nothing more important to learning the trade than working for the right Master. After Irv (my father-in-law) passed away in 1982, my goal was to learn as much as I could, from as many plumbers as I could, and earn the most money I could doing it. Apprentice pay is never terrific, but you can't lose sight of what you're really getting, a great career opportunity and an education without having to pay tuition. It's a really good deal!

As soon as I felt I learned as much as I could from a plumber, I began looking for another job. I ended up apprenticing for eight different Masters and in doing so, I was able to store a lot of knowledge in my toolbox.

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Not every plumber is a good teacher, some are just taskmasters and they'll try and turn you into a laborer. I wanted to learn the plumbing trade hands-on. A lot of people think working with your hands means not working with your head. Definitely not! When you work with your hands it's your brain directing your hands. You have to have the knowledge before your hands can do the work.

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After initially strapping us to the old school methods of his uncle who was his Master back in the '40s, Irv became a good teacher. It took a few spirited discussions, but Irv stopped using me primarily as a gopher and began delegating, which allowed me the opportunity to get the hands-on experience I needed. When his illness prevented him from working, I was capable of doing all the service work myself for two months, but an apprentice cannot run a plumbing company. So, the family made a decision to hire a licensed plumber to run the business. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough in the budget to pay two salaries.

I went to work for a large shop whose focus was on new construction and that's where I got my first opportunity to learn how to rough-in new houses, something Irv stopped doing as he got older. One day my boss, who was in his late sixties and no longer worked in the field, showed up on the job site and told me he received a call that "my father" died. I thought the message might have been misunderstood, not that I wanted to hear that anyone passed away, so I asked him "Are you sure it was my father?". I told him my father-in-law had been diagnosed with cancer and was in hospice. He looked confused and said he wasn't sure… I drove home knowing there was a death in my family, but not sure who it was. It turned out to be my father-in-law.

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After leaving the plumbing industry for a year, I returned and worked part-time for UPS and part-time for a plumber who did new construction. This time my boss was a young guy, in his late thirties, who liked to party and didn't work in the field very much, not that he wasn't a good plumber. On payday, he made us meet him at a local tavern. There were only two employees and we both knew the drill, we had to do at least four shots and three beers with the boss, on his tab, before he'd release our checks. As much fun as it was, it really pissed off our wives. At least we had our paychecks in-hand when we stumbled through the door late for dinner…

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It was during the peak of the building boom and we had plenty of new houses to rough-in and finish. One particular house we finished for a builder was at the end of a cul-de-sac and the sixth house we did for him. My boss was paid for the first five, but the builder tried to skip out on the last one. My boss put together a plan. We drove to the house at 5:00 A.M., each of us had specific assignments beginning with me jumping out of the boss's pickup, opening one of the garage doors, and then closing it behind him. After shutting the water and draining the system, we removed three toilets, three lav sinks, a kitchen sink, the water heater, several valves, and two frost-free sillcocks. When everything was loaded into the truck, I opened the garage door and then closed it behind us. We wasted no time getting out of there and went directly to different development where we had everything installed in another house by 3:00 o'clock. A well-executed plan!

The builder called to tell my boss that everything in the last house had been stolen, to which my boss replied "That's a shame". The builder asked, "When can you re-do the finish?" My boss replied, "Just as soon as I'm paid in full for the first finish and in advance for the second." The builder argued until he was reminded who held the permit, then he paid-in-full and after the check cleared, we went back to re-do the finish. The builder knew exactly what happened and couldn't do a damn thing about it.

When the boss wasn't aggressive enough lining up work, there was a slowdown. We raked leaves, serviced his vehicles, and began painting his house. I didn't like working around his house so I found another job working for a big company that had plenty of plumbing work, mostly new construction. There were at least ten trucks with two or more employees in each, which meant there was a lot of knowledge to tap into.

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I was learning a lot before a walking plank at the front entrance broke beneath me causing me to fall 6' and onto two huge boulders, the size only machines could've moved. I heard bones breaking and in the seconds it took to fall I was sure I'd end up a paraplegic. I immediately bounced up and walked around the yard until the adrenalin fizzled out and I realized how hurt I was. An ambulance took me to a local hospital where x-rays showed I had four broken ribs, a bruised lung and hip, and later, it was discovered I also had three fractured thoracic vertebrae. When I started coughing up blood I got a little concerned…

My new boss called to reassure me that if the workman's comp didn't start up right away, he'd send me money so I could survive until it did. The comp never came and he never paid. Seven weeks later I was still hurting, but back on the job doing the gas piping in the very same house I had my fall…

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TO BE CONTINUED…