This Conspiracy Theorist Says LeBron Is An 'Illuminati Wizard' Who Conjures Demons With His Pre-Game Chalk Tosses

Note: I want to preface this blog by saying this is meant to be in no way political and I am not commenting on anything else this person has said or believes other than the fact she thinks LeBron James is a wizard, which is objectively hilarious.

I am generally of the opinion that LeBron James sucks. He's one of the best basketball players ever, yet consistently acts like a child on and off the court, which makes him one of the least likable star athletes I can recall in my lifetime.

However, I will retract all my criticisms and become a full-blown LeBron stan if it is proven true that he is an Illuminati wizard who has performed thousands of demon conjurings in arenas across this country by way of his pre-game chalk tosses. I would be rocking a different LeBron jersey every day of the week. And Sheila Zilinsky believes this is, in fact, what LeBron has been doing throughout his career.

"Now here you're going to see this chalk ritual toss," Zilinsky said. "But it's simply disguised for what he's really doing: a high-level conjuring, a spell, an incantation from this Illuminati wizard."

My understanding of the definitely-real Illuminati is that it's populated by powerful people in search of advancing their status, more or less. And if that's the case, what better example of that model working than LeBron James? He's one of the most famous and influential people on the planet.

And what better way to explain LeBron's superhuman feats of athleticism other than to say he's a wizard? They say the simplest explanation is usually the correct one and that seems pretty simple to me.

So again, if it is true that LeBron has been walking among us as a damn warlock for all these years, he is the coolest person alive. If not, he's still a BBB.