Here Is Your Week 2 Fantasy Football Good Juju Megablog (Including Your Good Juju Song To Play While Setting Your Fantasy Football Lineup™)
Welcome everyone to Week 2 of the good juju fantasy football blog. You are either 1-0, 0-1, or if the Fantasy Gods really wanted to fuck with your mind, 0-0-1 in your leagues. Regardless of your record, we need more wins and we need them fast. How do we do that? By starting the best players and ensuring we have as much good mojo going as possible. I can't help you with the first part since I'm a mid fantasy manager at best. But I hopefully can get some good mojo for your team as a happy fat guy that tries to live life in a positive manner. I don't know if simply clicking on this blog gets you good juju or if any of this stuff gives any sort of juju. But it sure as shit can't hurt. So let's make ourselves feel good so a bunch of complete strangers who have no clue they are in our fantasy lineups play good.
Week 2's Good Juju Song To Play While Setting Your Fantasy Football Lineup™ is…
"September" by Earth, Wind, And Fire
Gotta use a song that drips nothing but great feelings while it is still the month in the title. Giants fans will get a little extra boost from this while remembering this song playing during the 2008 season as Brandon Jacobs, Ahmad Bradshaw, and Derrick Ward ran through a motherfuckers face. I will not mention how the Giants would definitely have won that Super Bowl over a Steelers team they beat in Pittsburgh earlier that season if Plaxico Burress didn't Cheddar Bob himself because that would be bringing bad juju into a good juju blog.
You know what? We need to wipe the slate clean with our Patron Saint Of Good Fantasy Football Juju: Jenny from The League
Much better. While we are riding the gravy wave of good mojo, I am going to be the first and only Barstool blogger to give you his NFL picks (JK, there's a whole bunch of them doing this in a house in the middle of Philly using the Barstool Sportsbook app).
Clem Island Celebrate And Gamble Responsibly 6 Pack Of The Week:
Lines provided by our best friends in the world Penn National Gaming
Bills -5.5
Jags +7.5
Rams +1.5
Giants +5.5
Bucs -8
Bengals +5.5 (already hit)
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Bonus Pick: Mecole Hardman First Touchdown Of The Chiefs Game (+2500). Again.
For the record, I've for some reason envisioned Clem Island to be the island from Jurassic Park, complete with all the characters and dinosaurs. After spitballing on Twitter, I have decided those dinosaurs are instead the NFL players I pick except they are the size of dinosaurs. None of this means a thing or makes a lick of sense, but I just want you to know where my brain is when I make these picks.
Now say it with me as we enter the virtual battleground yet again!