A-For-Effort To The T-Box Guys, For Asking The City For A Bar Crawl Permit During Covid. In Their Honor, Let's Take A Walk Down Barstool Chicago Memory Lane
Eater Chicago - The founder of TBOX, a pioneer of sorts for Chicago bar crawls, knows that groups of drunken people walking through Wrigleyville together isn’t exactly a pandemic-friendly activity. But Christopher Festa didn’t want to snap 24-straight years of bar crawls and asked the city for his annual permit. TBOX, or the Twelve Bars of Christmas, is a polarizing event for Chicagoans, full of ugly holiday sweaters making their ways up and down Clark Street.
The city denied Festa’s application. The Department of Cultural Affairs and Special Events isn’t keying in on TBOX. DCASE won’t issue special event permits to any organizers of outdoor festivals, athletic events, or “non-essential markets” through the end of the year: “and that includes TBOX,” a city spokesperson says.
Festa isn’t happy, but sees the city’s point.
“My event is literally the exact opposite of social distancing,” he says. “It’s known for people making out all over the place, and sometimes we pour cereal into people’s mouths. Obviously those things would be the biggest crime in the world right now.”
There's a famous quote from Bill Parcels that says, "You are what your record says you are."
Major props to TBOX founder Chris Festa here for knowing what his record his and not pretending his shit show bar crawl is anything different.
A-for-effort here knowing there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell the city of Chicago granted this permit but still applying anyway.
People outside Chicago right now are probably asking "what in the fuck is T-Box?"
As mentioned in the Eater article. It began innocently enough as a "Twelve Bars of Christmas" bar crawl in Wrigleyville (which is notoriously dead in the wintertime). Over the years it has morphed into an all-out circus on Clark St and the surrounding area.
This is what it looks like nowadays -
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
OG Stoolies and the #kneelforneil squad remembers well some of the greatest blogs to ever appear on this website- Big Cat's annual T-Box round up of police blotter's. Ten out of ten every time.
In honor of T-Box being a no go this year, let's revisit those wonderful blogs from a better time.
2013
Advertisement
2014
Highlight-
11:07PM — At Sluggers, Megan says a tall white guy with dark hair and dark eyes has been “aggressive to the females.” He was put in a chokehold in the stairwell. She’s upset and just wants the police to know that.
Thank god Whitesoxdave is short.
2015
Highlight-
6:26PM — In the 3400 block of Elaine Place, a man calls 911 to report that he has been drugged. “He’s standing outside crying hysterically.”
YES! Someone totally slipped something into my drink. It wasn’t the 20 fireball shots and 15 miller lites, I was drugged, I never get this drunk! I swear, I went to a Big Ten school and we drank all the time, all my bros say I’m the best at drinking!
8:17PM — Wellington and Pine Grove for the unconscious male white lying on the ground. He’s dressed like a Christmas tree.
Just this sentence made me laugh. There’s passing out on the ground in public then there’s passing out on the ground in public while dressed as a Christmas tree. Odds he shit himself as well? 50/50
2016
Highlight -
2:46PM — “Male white in a black jacket is being beaten by a female white in a Christmas sweater.” Addison and Lakewood.
The classic, “my girlfriend and I have been having a rough time the last few months, no way will an all day drinking event that starts at 8 am end up in a fight by 3 o’clock thus ruining my entire day and embarrassing me in front of ALL my friends”. We’ve all been there buddy, spin zone, T-Box made you single?