Japan Offers Godzilla Citizenship

Gawker – Film star and reigning King of Monsters Godzilla, 61, has finally been recognized as a citizen of Japan, Anime News Network reports. After living in the country for more than half a century, the atomic immigrant was awarded honorary citizenship by Tokyo’s Shinjuku ward earlier this year. According to ANN, however, Godzilla’s paperwork was only finalized last week. “Godzilla is a character that is the pride of Japan,” Shinjuku Mayor Kenichi Yoshizumi said of the reptilian sexagenarian at a special ceremony in April. In addition to becoming a citizen of the ward, Godzilla will reportedly serve as Shinjuku’s tourism ambassador. According to the monster’s new residency papers, Godzilla’s official duties include “promoting the entertainment of and watching over the Kabuki-cho neighborhood and drawing visitors from around the globe in the form of the Godzilla head built atop the Shinjuku TOHO Building.”

Quick question for you, Japan – do you have any pride, at all, as a country? Do you have any self respect? Offering Godzilla citizenship is maybe the biggest pussy move in the history of international diplomacy. I mean are you forgetting THIS:

Now you just gonna let him all up in your living room? Ohhh take your shoes off Godzilla! Stay for some sushi! Do you like your sake hot or cold? Absolutely pathetic. Maybe you can have like an honorary ceremony for Harry S. Truman while you’re at it? Maybe we can have the Enola Gay on display in a museum in Hiroshima too. Perhaps Mothra can run for office next? Have some pride for me one time Japan. This is probably why you lost World War 2 in the first place.