What Would A 2020 Scented Candle Smell Like?

People LOVEEEEEEE talking about 2020. Check out your timeline on Twitter. Everything is 2020 this, 2020 that. Anytime something bad happens, look through the thousands of replies crying "Thanks 2020!" or "Can't 2020 just end already?". Hey folks, I'm going to let you all in on a little secret: it's not the calendar that's determining how terrible the world is right now. The world is still gonna suck on January 1st. I'm not sure life will ever be fun again. But whatever, the idea that it's 2020's fault sells. So they made candles.

Now these candles are described as layered candles, with 4 scents being combined that change as it burns down. Here's the 4 scents they chose: Banana Bread, Hand Sanitizer, Do It Yourself Activities, and Tiger King (an earthy essence).

I don't know why this pisses me off so much, but it does. I think my gripe is that the 2020 scented candle is actually a pretty good idea. Someone is going to make some money from this. But the 4 scents they chose are so terrible that I'm mad I didn't think of it myself and do it better. Banana Bread????? Honestly, there's not one person on planet Earth that would describe 2020 as the year of banana bread. That's where this list should've been thrown out the window and given to a new group of people to come up with ideas. I mean, Hand Sanitizer is a good one, and Do It Yourself Activities isn't terrible, but Banana Bread? And then to summarize the Tiger King craze with "earthy essences"? Back to the drawing board, you guys.

Live look at the creator of these candles:

2020 has so many wild twists and turns that to summarize it in those 4 smells is embarrassing and disrespectful. And listen, I'm not going to sit here and poke holes in this company's pitch without providing solutions of my own. They should've came up with a million different scents and then sold them under the 2020 brand. The first in which, in my opinion, should've been flavored Candy and Roses. I'm not saying the world is in great shape right now, but for me, this hasn't been too bad at all. Obviously I wish everyone great health, but sitting at home every day and not having to go into work has been pretty sweet. I hope we never go back (as long as they keep paying us). I also don't miss spending all of my money every weekend at bars until 2 in the morning. Quarantine ain't half bad, if you ask me. --- as long as they keep playing sports. Quarantine without sports was brutal.

Anyways, second smell: general body odor. Ya'll still showering every day? Not me. I want a scent called MUSTY.

Another obvious miss: the inside of a mask. Or at least your own breath. Mask life has taught me a couple things, but none more so than that I need to brush my teeth a whole lot more. 

All I'm saying is that there were a million possibilities here to hit on a pretty good idea and make some money, and this company said 2020 is the year of Banana Bread.