2020 Continues Its Onslaught With The Election of *Checks Notes* Adolf Hitler?!?!
A politician named Adolf Hitler has won a regional election in Namibia.
Adolf Hitler Uunona has been elected with 85 percent of the vote for a seat on the regional council in the former German colony, where street names, people and places still have German names. However, Adolf Uunona as he prefers himself to be known, says he wants to assure people that he has no plans for world domination.
He told German tabloid paper Bild: "My father named me after this man. He probably didn't understand what Adolf Hitler stood for. As a child I saw it as a totally normal name. Only as a teenager did I understand that this man wanted to conquer the whole world."
Namibia? More like Nahmibia because you can’t elect adolf hitter. You just can’t. There’s not many fast and hard rules in the political world but a man OR WOMAN named Hitler has to be a normal citizen at best.
Imagine being Adolf Hitler Uunona’s dad and naming your bristling bundle of joy Adolf Hitler because it just rolls off the tongue. What do you do the first time you present your kid to friends or family who actually know who Adolf Hitler is.
You can’t look like an idiot and admit that you have no idea who a top-3 worst person to ever live was because in what context can you know who Adolf Hitler was but not know who he was? Take a second and try to explain that one to yourself. You simply can’t do it.
Furthermore, this elected official has to take a page out of the Dog Walk boys and live the rest of his natural life under protest. Protest the name because it’s gonna be IMPOSSIBLE to get into heaven with that name.
Jesus is going to be thumbing through the lamb’s book of life looking for your name.
“Adolf you said?”
“Yes, Jesus. It’s me... Adolf Hitler.”
“Whomst? Adolf what now?”
“Hitler. Adolf Hitler.”
“There’s no way your name is in here. I know your story.... wait. This can’t be.”
“It’s here. Jesus Christ,” said Jesus.
“Hurray!”
“Shhhh. Be quiet, Hitler! HOW DARE YOU,” said Simon Peter. He’s such a Hardo.
“Peter, good to see you. Remember that time the rooster crowed 3 times.”
“YOU SON OF A BITCH, ADOLF!”
Anyway, it’s a stupid name. Fuck EVERY Adolf Hitler who has ever lived. Sorry to the dude it Namibia but I have a firm rule that I hate Hitler and I won’t break it no matter how lovely this dude seems.