Pete Buttigieg Snubs Midway, Gets Engaged At O'Hare Airport
Absolute stunning blow to the battle of airport superiority here in Chicago. All the romance and sizzle of a very public engagement and Midway is absolutely nowhere to be found in the announcement. You try to predict and handicap how these heavyweight match up goes but I don't think anyone saw O'Hare landing this kind of shot here. Just a titantic blow for Buttigieg to be standing at the podium talking about how great the O'Hare terminal scene is. Admittedly Midway doesn't do romance that well. So fucking be it.
That said, here's what Midway DOES do well: customer service, timely flights, easy security, conveniently located moving walkways, efficient accessibility and obviously salt-of-the-earth people that comprise the Midway community. No offense to my northsiders I just know that St. Mary Star By Da Sea will fuck you up even if the ceiling in their basketball gym is wayyyyyy too low. Maybe a fundraiser for the kids to improve that someday? Would be nice.
Anyways let this be a lesson to a lot of people out there not to get engaged in public. Take if from me as a married man. It was drilled into my brain as a young man that you don't want to get engaged publicly because of the ensuing tomfoolery when you get engaged. HOT RAW PASSIONATE SEX the experts say. Hard to pull that off in an American Airlines terminal while you're shuffling the carry-ons. Unless it's an outbound flight and you're trying to get jerked off under one of the blankets they hand out. Or you're a savage and can have sex in one of those bathrooms. Maybe that's not a bad option for some of you wild animals out there?
Either way, congrats to Pete on the engagement. Smart to do it somewhere special. Smart to do it in Chicago.