Some Jacked Dude Helped His Aunt Sell Fruit At Her Stand And Chicks Started Creaming Themselves To Buy From Him

Keep it in your pants, Bryan Wong, we’ve got a blog to do here. This one is going viral today because for whatever reason it’s now normal for chick-focused sites to make slug trails over random guys online (of course if men’s sites do it they’re contributing to the downfall of society, totally logical). And it ties into the “kilt guys getting their dicks grabbed” story Trent blogged about which was discussed on the Rundown at length last night. Namely one thing: Chicks today are exactly as hungry for cock as guys are for women. And they don’t even care if the guys are educated or rich or whatever now; this guy’s pretty much one generation removed from his family farming rice while dressed like Raiden from Mortal Kombat and women are still sharing the fuck out of the pictures or even visiting some crappy Malaysian fruit stand just because some guy there cut out carbs and did a few crunches. Magic Mike‘s sequel is going to make $100 million too and I swear I’ve seen more chicks I know posting shit about going to male strip clubs in real life in the last year than I ever have before. It’s a booming industry and most guys are just being idiots about it.

Bottom line: The tide is turning and if you’re some dumb jacked dude out there not hawking your flesh online or at a Scottish bar or wherever, you’re an absolute idiot. Chicks have done it to men for centuries and now is the time to get even and get paid off it. Drop out of college and become an Instagram model, work at my new male Hooters-themed spinoff tentatively titled “Dongz” (the Z adds a degree of whimsy), whatever the case let’s all agree to exploit women’s self-empowerment and sudden interest in being creeps to get rich together.

Also I’m not sure if the dude on the right in that last pic is really into durian or if he’s getting himself a big time eyeful of #fitfam abs but, whichever it is, he must feel very passionately about it given that he seems to be rocking a Malaysia-sized tent in his shorts:

PS there’s a 13% chance this blog’s follow-up includes me going to a bus stop and looking for wayward boys to pimp out in some sort of Heidi Fleiss-Lou Perlman combo role and I’ve made my peace with that. People thought Steve Jobs was crazy for working out of a garage with a bunch of weird dudes, too.