Attention Haters: There’s A New Nut King In Town And His Face Is Covered With The World-Record Evidence
Monster performance. There’s no question about that. When it comes to walnut smashing with your forehead, this dude is the champion of the world. Imagine how useful this talent is during the holidays.
Regrettably, you’re spending another holiday listening to Ruth bitch about cracking walnuts like you do whenever the Christmas lights are strung from the ceiling with care, namely Christmas time.
“Every year, all these people want my delicious brownies with candied walnut toppings but no one wants to help me nut.” Its a weird way to explain it but Ruth is 75 and blind so it wouldn’t be right to correct her. “I sit in this hot kitchen and nearly break my wrist nutting all day long.” Again, not sure why she calls shelling walnuts ‘nutting’ but there’s nothing we can do. “CAN SOMEONE HELP ME NUT! IM BLIND AND OLD! I SHOULDNT HAVE TO DO ALL THIS NUTTING ALONE! THE MESS IS EVERYWHERE!” How does she know? She can’t see it.
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Enter this dude.
“Hey Ruth. Heard you need help nutting.”
“Finally! Stick your hand under the table and grab that nut sack and get to work.”
My goodness. Ruth is wild lol.
Rick puts all the nuts in a row on the table and smashes them with his grape.
Anyway, he smashes the nuts, tosses them on the brownies (fudge), and then makes love to Ruth. Ecstasy. Incredible.
Ps: when you smash the nuts and she keeps on succin
