I Thought This Was America People? DoorDash Unveiled The Top 20 Most Ordered Super Bowl Foods And It Is Atrocious.
Doordash Blog - Sports and food bring communities together–from forming friendships over matching team jerseys to finding common ground amongst a shared meal, the integral role both play in our lives is more prevalent now than ever. Though we can’t physically be in stadiums together rooting for our favorite teams, or at concession stands getting another order of nachos, the shared love of sports and food continues to connect us. With the biggest American football game of the year just days away, today DoorDash unveiled its Game Day Eats Report, detailing top food trends on game days throughout the 2020–2021 NFL season to help you “homegate” in style.
Leveraging order data on Football Sundays from September 13, 2020 to January 10, 2021 and a national general population survey* of 1,000 Americans, we bring you DoorDash’s Game Day Eats.
Top 20 Game Day Eats Nationwide
- Mozzarella Sticks
- Boneless Wings
- Chips & Salsa
- Caesar Salad
- Pepperoni Pizza
- Fried Pickles
- Chocolate Chip Cookies
- Philly Cheesesteak
- Egg Rolls
- Curly Fries
- Cole Slaw
- Churros
- Jalapeño Cheddar Bites
- Sweet Tea
- Taco Salad
- Chili Cheese Dogs
- Root Beer
- Chicken Pot Pie
- Salmon
- Flan
("I thought this was America people?" - Jay-Z/Dante)
I'm not even sure where to start here.
Between the Barstool Chicago boys + Steven Cheah's fiasco this week (if you didn't get a chance to listen or keep up on twitter, this Steven fella seriously thinks pizza is an appetizer dish. This revelation comes after publicly tweeting that he doesn't know how to put a car seat in his car, which followed publicly tweeting that he didn't know how to pop his car's hood. I'm pretty convinced he's an android and not human) and now, after this fucking embarrassment of a list, I'm not sure I've ever been more disappointed in my fellow citizen's food choices...
Let's break this trainwreck of a list down.
1- Mozzarella Sticks
Listen, nobody loves a good Mozzarella stick more than me. Not those freezer-burned God-awful shit they throw in a basket with a ramekin of recycled tomato sauce (you know the ones that are basically hollowed out), no, but a nice, fresh to semi-fresh mozzarella stick.
That said, having this be our number one game day food is a disgrace.
When you think of crowding around the tv watching Tom Brady's annual Super Bowl appearance do you think of mozzarella sticks?
2- Boneless Wings
What. The. Fuck.
First off, the correct answer to #1 spot when you think of watching football is wings. Not boneless wings but wings. Wings and beer is football. There's literally an entire business model built on this simple premise with a chain of 1,238 shitty but successful locations.
This is what real wings look like.
(Buffalo Joe's has the best wings in the country, yes the country, if you know you know.)
Get the fuck out of here with boneless wings. Boneless wings aren't wings. They're nuggets. They're "chicken fingers". No different. They're rendered parts of the chicken rearranged and put together with a binding ingredient and breaded.
I know they're tasty but a good bone in wing beats a great boneless wing 11 times out of 10. This is a disgrace America.
3- Chips & Salsa
Finally an item I can respect. But how fuckin lazy of a human being are you if you're ordering your chips & salsa from a restaurant via door dash? Either that to you live in a food desert and can't find a bag of Tostito's and salsa in your grocery store, or gas station aisle.
4 - Caesar Salad
Is the California contingent throwing this entire list off? Is that what the fuck this is? (I apologize for throwing the F word around so freely. I get very passionate when it comes to food)
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You could rattle off the best tailgate dishes of all time consecutively 5-20 after this but with Caesar Salad sitting in the 4 spot it makes this entire list a fucking abortion.
Fuck you DoorDash.
Lie to me. Make this list up if you had to. Don't pull this shit.
5- Pepperoni Pizza
Thank you Lord. Finally a legit game day food item. Though I would have ranked this higher personally, I'll still take it. Nothing better than over ordering a shit ton of pizzas and grazing on them throughout the game and then having a few more slices for a late-night snack.
(Tony's is the only place I'll fuck with on the west coast. If I'm sleeping on somebody let me know)
6- Fried Pickles
What are we even doing here guys? Seriously.
7- Chocolate Chip Cookies
Love chocolate chip cookies. But for the Super Bowl? If we're talking for a nice smoke session then feed me Insomniac Cookies all day. But for a football game?
8 - Philly Cheesesteak
We did it guys!
This is it!
This is the point where the entire list turns around and things settle into place.
A greasy, messy, Philly Cheese spilling onto the wrapper nestled on your lap as you're watching the game. That is football. That is America!
Normalcy returns.
I can feel it!
9- Egg Rolls
It's clear at this point this was a troll job by DoorDash in hopes to drum up some clicks and get suckers on major sports media websites to blog about it. Well played DoorDash because I took the bait.
Nobody, and I mean no body, is ordering Egg Rolls to watch a football game. Post game when they're wasted and/or high as balls and craving some greasy MSG riddled food to send them into la la land and have wild fucked up dreams? Yah of course, Chinese food, nothing better. But from the hours of 1-11pm Eastern get the fuck out of here with egg rolls.
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10 - Curly Fries
I have an admission to make.
I absolutely love curly fries.
In August, my main man Coley ranked Fast Food French Fries and he couldn't have been more spot on.
The way I see it nobody is beating McDonald's. So why even bother? If you can't do, or get, or make McDonald's french fries why settle for the b, c, or d squad?
The Curly Fry is offensively under-appreciated. It gets zero respect.
How is it that Arby's is the only chain with the balls to feature it on their menu? Is it because everybody else is just too pussy? Or would they all rather follow the leader even though their fries are sub-standard? (I'm pretty sure Hooters does curly fries too but they are ALWAYS under cooked and come with zero salt and zero seasoning so they don'yt deserve to be included in the discussion)
(sidebar- I own a small handful of restaurants and I have begged and pleaded with my partners for years to feature curly fries on menues vs. regular fries and I've been shot down every time. It's maddening)
Tell me those don't look mouth-wateringly delicious.
11- Cole Slaw
I know you're expecting me to lay into Cole Slaw here but you're wrong.
I'm a sucker for a great cole slaw.
None of the foo-foo shit with the raisins and all that bullshit.
Give me a nice shredded cabbage, lettuce, and carrot base with a tangy mayo/vinegar mix and call it a day.
Serve it up in a nice plastic container (preferably next to a nice bed of fried clams or fish & chips) and call it a day.
(Until I'm proven wrong Carson's has the best cole slaw in Chicago)
12- Churros
Whatever guys.
13- Jalapeño Cheddar Bites
Fantastic drunk food. Not much pairs better with a High Life than a well-cooked jalapeno popper. Fair ranking here at 13.
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14- Sweet Tea
Love a good sweet tea but are people really ordering them in this large of an amount that they're the 14th most ordered items on game days?
15- Taco Salad
Not even sure what to say about this one. If you said taco pie, taco dip, or nachos of some sort here I would argue it was severely under-ranked, but taco salad?
16- Chili Cheese Dogs
Love it. The Rust Belt contingent finally making their presence felt with this one. Great football food item.
(Lafayette has the best dogs in the country)
17- Root Beer
Did the DoorDash people run out of shit they could make up at this point?
18 - Chicken Pot Pie
From KFC? Or where we talking? Who even has a pot pie on their menu besides Irish pubs? Have I been sleeping on chicken pot pies my whole life?
19- Salmon
20- Flan
Hat's off DoorDash. You pathetic slugs.
When you think football what better one-two punch than some salmon and flan am I right or am I right?
You should be as ashamed with yourselves for putting out this rubbish as I am for blogging it.
GLARING OMMISSIONS
Italian grinder/sub/hoagie, sausage and pepper sandwiches, cheeseburgers, nachos, ribs, potato skins, breadsticks, meatball sandwiches, onion rings, cheese fries, mac & cheese, pulled pork sandwich,