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In A Major Fuck You To Covid, Chicago WILL Once Again Be Dying The River Green This Saturday For St. Patrick's Day

NBC5- Both Chicago St. Patrick's Day parades have been canceled for the second year in a row this March due to the coronavirus pandemic, city officials announced.

"We are working with organizers and communities to identify ways to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day in a safe manner that aligns with ongoing public health guidance," the mayor's office said.

Chicago's 2021 South Side Irish St. Patrick's Day Parade "will not run its traditional march down Western Avenue," event organizers announced Tuesday.

"Due to the continued public health concerns of COVID-19, the City of Chicago has announced it will not be issuing any permits for parades or large gatherings in the first quarter of 2021," parade organizers said in a statement Tuesday.

Organizers said the parade's committee is exploring alternate ways to celebrate the community's Irish heritage "to respect the public health and safety of all."

Last year, both of Chicago's St. Patrick's Day parades were canceled and the city's iconic river dyeing was postponed amid coronavirus concerns.

Nearly a year later, the pandemic continues as health officials organize coronavirus vaccinations across the country, including in Chicago and Illinois.

This year's downtown St. Patrick's Parade and river dying are still scheduled for March 13.

This is such great news.

For a city that's been through the hell Chicago has over the past year (Juicy Smollet, Kim Foxx, JB's shutdowns, the first riots, the second riots, True Life: Grand Theft Auto, no sports, snowpacalypse, and on and on) this matters more than you'd think it would.

Not getting to see the Chicago River dyed green last year was a major kick in the nuts.

It didn't feel right. 

Like Superman without his cape or some other appropriate metaphor, it felt like we'd admitted defeat as a city.

(shoutout this guy who still tried to channel the spirit in his bathtub last year)

Not getting to scroll Instagram and see endless reposts of the photographer king Barry Butler's shots of the river was like depriving us of oxygen.

You might be asking yourself why does green dye in a body of water that is perpetually brown so special to Chicago to which I'll answer because it's just another thing that separates Chicago from other cities in the country that think they do things on the level we do here.

How did this practice even come about?

Glad you asked. 

According to the Chicago Tribune, in 1961 Savannah, Georgia attempted to dye their river green and failed miserably. Mayor Richard J. Daley got the idea to turn Lake Michigan green for St. Patrick’s Day in Chicago. The story goes that the business manager of the Chicago Plumbers Union, a fella named Stephen M. Baily, said there was no chance to dye a body of water the size of Lake Michigan but came up with the idea of dyeing the river instead. He proposed using a solution that was used for identifying pollution and had the happy side effect of creating green streaks.

The result the first year, in 1962, was a roaring success. The great people of Chicago loved it. There was just one issue, 100 pounds of oil-based fluorescein were poured into the river, which left it green for a week. Environmentalists were pissed and protested the shit out of over the next 5 years. Finally, in 1966 the parade organizers switched to using only 25 pounds of a more eco-friendly vegetable-based powder which is actually orange until coming in contact with water. 

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To dye the river the city's Plumbers Union uses two small boats, which loop back and forth between Wabash Avenue and Columbus Drive. The larger boat carries a crew of four people who pour the powder into the water with flour sifters. The smaller boat, carrying two people, helps to disperse the powder. The entire process only takes 45 minutes.

Here is a year by year recap because you know you want to watch each one individually to see the slight differences -

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(Sidebar-  I've checked pretty much every square on my Chicago bingo card since moving here. Been to every food joint, dive, all the stadiums, taken in premier high school basketball and football, you name it. More than some I won't mention by name that have lived here their entire lives can say. I've even surfed the Chicago River. nbd. ALL that flexing said, one thing I have not attended or partaken in that absolutely kills me is "The Southside Parade". When I first got here, kids at Loyola told me campfire stories about this thing that shook me to my core. I was scared straight of this before I ever even got the chance to find out what it was all about. And I'm not coming here from Alberquerque or some shit. Worcester and Boston aren't necessarily scarce on crazy Irish motherfuckers. The Boston parade is no joke but I've never seen multiple groups of people fucking behind dumpsters, slip n sliding through vomit on the sidewalks, pissing in beers and handing them to people too drunk to realize (all allegedly), etc. Those are just a few of the stories I was recounted from friends who swore on their grandparents. Now that it's been taken away from us for a few years I feel like I don't just want to go, I NEED to go. I spent some time in Mount Greenwood this summer for a class and didn't want to leave. Some of the funniest and best people I've ever met. I can understand why they stay out there and rarely come downtown. I can only imagine how they celebrate St. Patrick's Day. I need the Southside Parade back up and running and I need to experience the debauchery.)

p.s. - CNN actually did a feature on the guy who gets to pour the dye in each year, former CPD Tom Rowan. Guys a legend.