We All Forgot To Wish Mallory Edens (The Future Owner Of The Knicks) A Happy Birthday Over The Weekend Like A Bunch Of Idiots
Goddamnit Reags! Way to blow this one. You have been trying to woo Mallory Edens for a few years now to just buy the Knicks and you completely forgot her 25th birthday on Sunday. You big drunk idiot. Way to be too occupied with your 'family' and forgetting about the task at hand here. That's on me. I'm doing my part Knicks fans, I promise. I brought us Kenny Payne. I brought us Julius Randle and Immanuel Quickley and Nerlens Noel. Next is Mallory Edens.
Ever since she's talked about owning the Knicks, I need it to happen. I dream of it happening. (h/t Elle)
During a 2017 interview with TMZ Sports, Mallory announced her plans to follow in her dad's footsteps—but not with the Bucks. "I want to buy the Knicks one day," she said. "I don't need to swap (teams), my dad can keep the Bucks."
This little run we're having this year? Yeah that would be every year with Mallory in charge. I'm sure of it. That and I'd like to think she'd toss me a bone and call me for some draft advice. Maybe I can hook her up with future Bench Mob draft analysts so she knows in a timely fashion that hey, Jalen Suggs might be in talks for a top pick. Maybe she can read 8,400 words on the Celtics points per possession on drives so she can bring that to the analytics department. I'm just spitballing here, but a couple of suggestions that could help me get my foot in the door with Mallory.
Anywho, Happy Belated Birthday to the future owner!
