Having This Jesus Christ Transformer Toy Would Have Been Transformative In My Childhood

It's such bullshit that Christian toys are getting better and better. When I was growing up, the only Christian toys I had were either this shitty wooden nativity set or puppets. For some reason, my church loved puppets. Dont get me wrong, I'm not anti puppet. I dont want that rumor to get started up again. Having that kinda thing circulate made 2014 so difficult for me and my family. We aren't against puppets; we just do really care for them as much as we used to. 

My mom was the lead puppet master at our church. The way she could make Puppet Joseph sing Amazing Grace would had you slain in the spirit like you wouldnt believe but that's neither here nor there. 

Transformers were the shit when I was little. For all I know, they might be the shit now too. But, as you know, transformers were one of the many tools of the devil. It makes no sense that a bumble bee can turn into a truck or jet without the help of dark magic. Our man JC can flip that script on its head and work all things together for good by turning the cross Jesus into the armor of god Jesus in just a short 15 seconds. If you dont think I'd be playing with that bad boy in the fellowship hall, you have no idea what level of swag my church cool scale was really on. If that's the case, I feel bad for you and your soul. But, I also forgive you because that's what Im called to do. 

PS: ENJOY but dont be dirty about and say something like "Jesus Fucks." That's so fucked up