I WANT YOU INSIDE ME- I'm not squidding around... This slice was ink-redible.

Large6/18/2021 12:30 PM

Apologies for the corny title, but it's the Friday before Father's Day, so I am going to cram as many corny dad jokes as I can into any blog I put out.

Maybe you can use these calamari jokes this weekend when your Kraken open a couple of cold ones with the buoys.

Giphy Images.

I was in Brooklyn last Sunday and, on the drive in, I called in an order to my favorite pizza joint for a Sicilian pie while I was stuck in traffic on the Belt Parkway.

People rave about the Sicilians at L&B Spumoni Gardens, and I like that quirky no-cheese-on-top square every now and again, but the sauce is a little too sweet for me to eat regularly.

Kathy Willens. Shutterstock Images.

My go-to is a small place called Victoria Pizzeria on Gerritsen Ave… It's a neighborhood hole-in-the-wall joint that I have been going to for the past 40 years.

Prez has never been there, and I hope he never goes because I don't think the regular slices are the type he enjoys, so watching him hand out a 6.4 to a place I like doesn't benefit anyone in the least.

For some reason this week, as I was putting in an order for a square pie, I switched it up a little…

I ordered fried calamari as a topping.

I actually ordered fried calamari and hot cherry peppers as my toppings, but they were inexplicably out of hot pepps, so I asked them to dummy-up the pizza sauce with crushed red pepper instead.

I got there before the pie came out of the oven, and was happy to see they had the order of calamari waiting on the counter to add for only the last couple of minutes.

And when the pizza guy added the squid, he did it in a way where the rings and legs were evenly distributed amongst the squares even before he cut them out.

I will tell you… As is the case with all food, I was thankful that my parents' house is only 2 minutes away from the pizza parlor, so I had the luxury of holding the box open for the tiny car ride home.

If that 2 minutes turned to 10 minutes, and if that lid was left closed, then we would've had a gummy-soft mess by the time I got to the table.

Instead, everything remained relatively crispy long enough for my family to tear through the whole pie like we had a tip on a famine.

Similar to L&B's square, this isn't something I would order all the time… To be honest, I am not sure if I will order it again.

Perhaps, I will save it for Fridays during Lent.

But if you are ever in a situation where you can eat it right out of the oven, then I would recommend giving this bitch a shot.

Oh…

And what do you give a squid to make him laugh?

Ten-tickles.

Giphy Images.

(Fuck you, Smokes.)

Take a report.

-Large

I can't help but buy different potato chips whenever I see them… Most of them fucking suck.

This week, I bought these…

I've written before about my love for Iberian Ham before when I wrote about paella last month, so these chips were right in my wheelhouse. And even if they taste a little more like butter than Iberian Ham, I ain't complaining.

Finished the whole bag, and my only regret is that I didn't open a bottle of wine with them.

WEEKLY FOOD CALENDAR

Today, Friday, June 18th- International Sushi Day

Saturday, June 19th- National Martini Day

Sunday, June 20th- National Ice Cream Soda Day

Monday, June 21st- National Smoothie Day

Tuesday, June 22nd- National Onion Ring Day

Wednesday, June 23rd- National Pecan Sandy Day

Thursday, June 24th- National Pralines Day

Friday, June 25th- National Catfish Day

Last thing:

A small group of content guys here had a food tasting prepared by a duo of celebrity chefs yesterday.

Willie and I were lucky enough to tag along and Chef Marc Murphy and Eric Greenspan put together a menu that made us walk out of there like bloated piñatas.

I am not allowed to write about it just yet, but it was a wonderful experience that I will share with you at some point, once this project is done.

However… I will tell you that both fried bologna, mac & cheese, hot sauce, and pimento cheese…