Upon Further Review Of The Outtakes, It Turns Out Those Parkour Robots Are Actually Just A Bunch Of Unathletic Dorks
Yesterday the internet was worked up into a tizzy over these robots doing a little parkour. Admittedly it seems a rather ill-advised to give some potential death machines the capability to do a backflip. At the very least, it's unnecessary.
But it turns out that we forgot that highlight videos don't always tell the whole story. I mean anybody can look great when it comes to an edited video that only shows our successes. Just think about every NFL preseason. You see media members tweet out clips from practices, convince yourself that some 3rd string scrub is going to be a Pro Bowl WR this season, then week 1 comes around and you're screaming at your TV for them to be cut at halftime. Everybody looks good in highlights, but what about when you show the whole game?
Oh my god. These guys fucking STINK.
I could watch this shit all day.
If I didn't know any better I'd say that robot is a Barstool blogger. Maybe that's who writes all of Greenie's headlines for him.
But yeah. We don't have anything to fear. At least not for the next 6-7 years. How long did it take to go from the Nokia 3310 to the iPhone? Whatever that amount of time was, that's probably when they'll have these robots dialed in. But in the meantime? These dorks were able to put together one good run and then just edit the other hundred thousands of takes out of there. They're basically Dude Perfect. Are you afraid of Dude Perfect taking over the human race? Didn't think so.
Final Verdict: Nothing to fear. These robots suck and I'd put them in the same athleticism category as the guys who "could have gone D1 if I didn't get injured".