I Promise You Haven't Heard of This Sequel Novel to '101 Dalmatians' and It's the Most Insane Thing You'll Read Today

Let me tell y'all something right now: there are seven more tweets to be included in this blog which describe The Starlight Barking, an apparent sequel to 101 Dalmatians, and I assure you whatever you think might happen in this book, you're wrong. I don't know how there's a sequel to such a classic that nobody knows about, especially one that's as crazy as this one.

Let's just get into it.

Ok, the premise is interesting enough. We jumped to super powers pretty quickly, but I'm in. It's the dogs' world now.

I appreciate that in this world where dogs can teleport and are making collective decisions to murder humans, they're holding true to the actual members of the British cabinet. There are still laws, after all.

And hell yeah, Cruella de Vil needs to be murdered. Everybody's a badass until the dogs get superpowers and every human is asleep. Shouldn't have been talking shit.

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Yes! Lord of the Dog Star!

I'm sure there is a bit more connective tissue in the whole book, but who has the time for that shit? I'd read an eight-tweet thread on literally any book in the world if we can jump from dog assassins right into an extraterrestrial dog wanting to save the canine race. Give me the CliffsNotes and I'm good to go.

I could use a bit more of a backstory on Sirius, though. We got to an alien dog leader pretty quickly.

What a message. After all the wrong the humans have done — and are sure to continue — the dogs decide to stick by their owners and lose their superpowers rather than escape to a life of whatever Sirius and the rest of the space dogs are doing. I think we could all learn a thing or two about loyalty from the Dalmatians.

The fact that Disney has been churning out every re-boot under the Sun for the last decade and I didn't know about this story until today is unbelievable. Round up some dogs and CGI guys and let's get to work.