Congratulations To Former White Sox Clubhouse Leader Drake Laroche On His Nuptials!!!
THAT'S MY FUCKING CLUBHOUSE LEADER!!!!! If you don't get this quote, just keep reading.
Real talk... many of you probably have no idea who in the fuck this is, so let me apprise you. Back in the summer of 2016, the Chicago White Sox we're a top heavy team. They had star power of Chris Sale, Jose Quintana, Jose Abreu, Adam Eaton and a few others, followed by past prime singings/acquisitions of Jimmy Rollins (yup), Mat Latos (scumbag), James Shields, and Adam Laroche.
I broke the James Shields for Fernando Tatis, Jr. trade that summer, nbd:
And that season started off AWESOME. They raced to a 23-10 record after April and it looked like there was a legit shot the White Sox would be playing in October. WRONG!!!
They were the biggest group assholes on the planet. The most unlikeable White Sox team I've ever rooted for. Adam Eaton was a punk bitch, Todd Frazier put together the ugliest at bats of all time, Jimmy Rollins was WAY past his MVP days, Robin Ventura managed like he didn't want to be there, and they completely face planted after riding BABIP luck and 1 winning a ton of 1 run games.
Prior to 23-10 start, Adam Laroche upped and quit during spring training. When the news broke that he quit, White Sox fans were ELATED, mostly because of this slash line he put up in 2015:
He flat out stunk. It was another way too expensive signing of a player past his prime that the White Sox made because they refused to spend money on good players still in their prime. That's a story we've heard for a looooong time. The dude fucking sucked and we couldn't have been happier that he was getting the fuck outta town.
But his retirement led to a shit storm of embarrassment. I'm not going to bother going into every little detail, but it went basically like this:
- when signed prior to the 2015 season, Adam Laroche made it clear to the White Sox that his kid 12 year old son Drake would be with him in the clubhouse a lot
- The White Sox said that was fine without realizing Laroche meant he'd be with him 100% of the time. "We're a family friendly organization!!"
- In spring training 2016Kenny Williams (executive VP) fielded a complaint from someone (many people think it was Jimmy Rollins) and told Laroche he couldn't be in the clubhouse 100% of the time
- Laroche said this was not what was agreed upon. Kenny Williams said too bad. Laroche retires
- The media learned why Laroche retired
- Chris Sale told Kenny Williams to stay the fuck out of the clubhouse
- Adam Eaton told the press that the situation was "unfortunate" and that Drake was a clubhouse leader
Absolutely PATHETIC quote from Adam Eaton. Truly embarrassing. If a fucking 12 year old is a leader of men, the men he's leading are complete pussies. That's just a fact.
This is also where everything went straight to shit. The front office was arguing with the best pitcher in baseball, Adam Eaton (who was a stud at the time) was calling 12 year old kids "leaders" like a complete asshole. Mat Latos eventually was released, as was Rollins, Frazier was traded, and the White Sox eventually finished the season under .500. It was a pathetic, pathetic year and I was embarrassed to be a fan of that shit show.
Now back to Drake. Drake just got married recently. Now I gotta tread carefully here - I'm not ripping on Drake Laroche for getting married. Not at all. I don't dislike the kid. It's not his fault he was a 12 year old shoved into a locker room instead of a class room and that he became the focal point of a complete SHIT STORM of bickering between professional athletes. Fuck, I'd have loved to be in his spot at his age. Anybody would have.
And I truly don't care that he just got married - sure, 17 or 18 or whatever he is now is SUPER young to get hitched. But love is love and to each their own… blah blah blah. You do you, kid.
But seeing his dad's congratulatory IG post pop up in my DM's yesterday was a WILD feeling. I hadn't thought about Drake Laroche in years. It was one of those "holy fuck I feel old" moments even though it was just 5-6 years ago and Drake being 18 makes complete sense.
The best part about it though is that, in many ways, it was Drake Laroche who was kinda/sorta responsible for the rebuild. Without him maybe the White Sox don't have this current core of awesomeness. Maybe they do, but I can't say that for certain. What I am certain about is that that 2016 went to hell so badly, that Rick Hahn was forced to give his infamous "mired in mediocrity" presser later in the year. Part of the reason that season went to hell so badly is because Drake Laroche, a 12 year old kid, was the focal point of a totally divided clubhouse. Drake Laroche's name will be remembered by White Sox fans FOREVER.
There has to be a 30 for 30 type documentary on that season. It was that chaotic… and I haven't even mentioned how Chris Sale, arguably the best pitcher in the entire league at the time, decided to take garden shears to throwback jersey's before one of his starts in the middle of that year. Just a complete and total shit show… and I haven't even gotten into the part where Todd Frazier (literally) shoved Adam Eaton into a locker, or how Jose Abreu tried to fist fight Frazier and Eaton too.
Just a disgusting season. Thank christ this current team is loaded with players that are awesome to root for and don't have any off the field baggage. Polar opposite. We can thank this little 18 year old married whippersnapper for that.
DISCLAIMER
White Sox fans that read this have every right to correct details where I was wrong here. I went straight from memory because I couldn't stomach looking up the EXACT timeline of the Adam/Drake Laroche saga because it would give me scaries. I know it's close enough for all intents and purposes, but know that there might be a couple of details I misremembered. FUCK that team. Send em all straight to hell