You're Walking Down The Street And Someone Spits On You, WYD?
I've actually had a productive morning. I woke up at 630, let the dog out, crawled back into bed, scrolled through twitter, ate bacon and eggs, walked the dog for 30 mins, and hit the couch to play the ponies. When I turned on the TV, however, Superbad was on E.
Yes, I know the difference between Superbad on TV vs. Superbad uncut is night and day. I didn't even choose to watch it though. I was watching E last night because Shawshank was on E and Shawshank is the perfect excuse to avoid all of my asshole friends and stay in for the night. It was just the last channel that was on before I turned my TV off and crawled into bed.
Anyways, I watched until a commercial. This was the scene I watched:
It's been a minute since I've seen Superbad, even though I've seen it about 100x. It sent me into a fit of RAGE.


I've said this out loud a handful of times, but I don't think kids like this long haired tool or someone like Nelson Muntz actually exist in real life like they'd lead you to believe in just about any teen movie ever. At least not for me; I attended the most stereotypical middle-to-upper-middle class suburban HS of all time and there is not one kid I look back on and say to myself, "yep he was a bully."
The clowns that could have been considered "bullies" weren't the "cool" kids hosting parties anyways. They were looked down on more than anyone.
I know what you're thinking too:
But WSD if you can't spot the bully picking on the uncool kids, you were the bully picking on the uncool kids!!!
All jokes completely, 100% aside… just not true. I sincerely would have stuck up for the Seth's and McLovins of the world. Shit on that all you'd like but it's the truth.
Whatever though. That's not why I was enraged though. I was enraged because I put myself in Jonah Hill's shoes. I decided to ask Twitter what would happen if it happened to them:
I wanted real answers. To me, this is the response that is correct:
But here are others:
Thank god we're all on the same page here. I'm not saying this because I'm some tough guy or bad ass, or because I'm ridden with midget syndrome, I say this because it's also the truth. I'd try to put him in the hospital and wouldn't quit until he was put in the hospital. That, or him and his boys put me in the hospital. Like holy shit my blood is boiling just watching this, even though I know it's fake and doesn't really happen, at least not in my experience.
The comment section of www.barstoolsports.com is the voice of reason on a wide variety of topics, so I wanted to open the floor to see what you guys would do as well.
The floor is yours, heretofore.