"I Don't Have A College Degree, I Hit Baseballs" -- Nick Castellanos, The Perfect Addition To Philadelphia
Little known fact about baseball--you don't need defense to win games. Turns out the team who scores the most runs at the end of the game is the team who comes away with the W. So the Phillies are just loading their roster up with dudes who love to smash the shit out of some baseballs. Some guys smash baseballs because they think it's fun. Others do it simply because they're good at it. But for Nick Castellanos?
Well he smashes the shit out of baseballs so that his family can eat. So that his family can survive. The man steps up to the plate every time thinking that if he doesn't crush a dinger, well then everybody he knows and love is dead. Or at least going to bed very hungry that night. And he can't have that. He won't allow that.
So make sure to bring a glove with you to CBP this summer if you have seats in deep left field. It's going to be a bombardment, and the Castellanos family is going to be eating good.
PS - Phillies talk was all over First Time, Long Time this week. We'll hang up and listen.