Yogurt Is The PERFECT Snack Food And That Is A FACT
Subscribe to Barstool Chicago on YouTube:
This week we had legendary snake draft guest Clem on the show to break down the best sweet snacks in the universe. You know it's a home run when Clem is on the show to talk shop on food, especially food that is typically of the "junk" variety:
I'll cut right to the chase. In the 5th round, I went a little outside the box and selected "yoplait strawberry and banana yogurt". I got CRUCIFIED by my cohorts as if I were Jesus and they were axe wielding Romans, and not the kind of Romans that get your dick hard. The kind that hang you on a cross and let you die and Ed, that rogue, commie bastard, might as well by Pontius Pilate. Anyways, Ed and the crew had a little back and forth about my pick as if it were somehow "veto-able" and "outside the spirit of the draft."
Now 99% of the drafts are charades and meant to drum up engagement. Once we're done recording, we stop thinking about them other than fucking around with each other and the audience when the polls are released. This time I was actually pissed off, and I was pissed off because Eddie made the rules on what was eligible and what wasn't:
Ummm… strawberries are sweet, especially the fake strawberries they (probably) use in cheap, sugar + preservative filled yogurts like this. But I'm the villain because I decided to go against the grain by straying from garbage ass mass produced cookies, little Debby snacks, and other gross (yet often delicious) forms of junk food?
Yogurt is 100% a snack. A quick, easy, efficient snack. I know the yogurt I drafted isn't actually healthy, but it makes you feel like you had a healthy snack after you consume it. Basically tricks your brain into losing weight because you're consuming that instead of a mountain of cookies or whatever else was drafted, even though that's not really the case.
Advertisement
The TL/DR is this - Ed and the rest of the crew bashing me for this pick is ridiculous. It's a sweet snack found at the grocery store and doesn't reside in the frozen aisle. Sorry it's not a flour based, preservative fueled pastry like a fucking Twinkie or Entemann's donuts, Ed. Sorry it isn't brownie bites made from the baker at Mariano's, chief. Sorry it's not some pandering pick made solely so the audience massages my ego, Carl.
But I am NOT sorry for drafting it.
Yoplait yogurt is a perfect (and sweet!) snack food. Anyone who says otherwise is a complete dolt. Especially Ed. It is the shit and that is a FACT. The only thing I apologize for is not drafting it earlier, considering I consume it more than any of the other shitty foods that will lead the rest of my pathetic coworkers to early deaths and cardiac arrest. They're acting like I drafted "popcorn from the movie theater" in a salty foods draft.
Nope. Just followed the rules set by ol' Red Ed.
PS - this guy brings up a GREAT point: