America's Leading Gossip Rag is Reporting Brady and Gisele are Having an 'Epic Fight'

When the most high-profile athlete in North America disappears from his place of work for a week and a half with only the vaguest explanation, people are going to fill that empty space with their own theories. As I've referenced here before, Yuval Noah Harari's book "Sapiens: A Brief History of Mankind" offers up the theory that one of the most powerful factors on the progress of humankind is our propensity for gossip. So when there's no real reason given for a lifelong obsessive workaholic like Tom Brady using up all his personal days, people are going to fill in the blanks. With Mad Libs from him trying to swing a deal to go to another franchise to cosmetic surgery to this latest one. Which, while appearing in print for the first time, is something I've heard floated everywhere, from friends and family to guys at the gym.

And I'll admit I'm reluctant to give it oxygen. Because every couple of years for the last 20-plus, this is the kind of thing that's been splattered across the front cover of the magazines staring at you in line at the supermarket. But when Page Six reports it, you really can't ignore the woolly mammoth in the room:

Source - There’s trouble in Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen paradise, multiple sources told Page Six.

The model has left their family compound in Tampa, Fla., for Costa Rica following a series of heated arguments over Brady’s shock decision to un-retire from the NFL, while he has remained behind for team training.

“Tom and Gisele are in a fight right now,” a source told Page Six, adding that this has happened before with the couple, but they have always reunited in the past. ...

A second source said, “There’s been trouble in the marriage over his decision to un-retire. Gisele has always been the one with the kids.

“They had agreed he would retire to focus on the family, then he changed his mind.”

Added an insider: “They have a fiery relationship. Gisele is a bit hot-headed — she has that Brazilian heat!”

Yeah, way to end on a racist note there, third insider. Oh yeah, that's them Latin Americans alright! Always losing control of their emotions and flying off the handle like Ricky Ricardo when he'd find out Lucy got a job at the club! Nice source of information you're using, Page Six. 

Here's the thing. Gossip like this comes with the territory of being as famous as these two are. There are seemingly thousands of Brits whose full time careers are spent on nothing but jibber-jabbering about the Royals. And Brady and Gisele are de facto royalty. And like it or not, when they put their genetically perfect children in documentaries and all over their social media, they're another Royal Family. It's probably great the vast majority of the time. But at moments like this and the most widely read gossip source in the world is reporting your personal shit like this? Well, it's the price you pay for all that fame and adulation. 

And, frankly, it's plausible, if we're being honest. Brady himself showed us enough behind the scenes interactions with Gisele in his Tom vs. Time series for us to know she lives and dies with his career. We've seen her in good times (after the 28-3 comeback) and bad ("My husband cannot throw the ball and catch the fucking ball!") and can understand that what some anonymous dickbag calls "hot-headed," the rest of us call "emotionally invested." She's talked in interviews about worrying over his health. And nobody except Brady ever could've imagined he'd still be punching an NFL clock at 45. 

So it's not hard to believe there'd be some tension there. Some give-and-take. Some preconditions to him going back to work, especially with young kids. Personally, my own world-class supermodel Irish Rose loves when I have some time off to get things done with her. And I'm a sedentary slob burping the alphabet into a laptop all day. And we're empty nesters. Just because they're insanely rich doesn't mean being a single mom half the year is some box of chocolates. But the rock solid couples work through these situations. Which presumably they're doing.

The question I have is for the sources who are quoted here. And it's "What the fuck is wrong with you?" If you've been made aware of this, you've been confided in. What kind of person then immediately goes to the NY Post with the inside dope? Have you no soul? In Dante's Divine Comedy, the Inferno is described as a series of concentric circles. The outermost  are not as bad, and are reserved for the lesser sinners like pagans and so on. And the deeper in Dante goes, the worse they are. Until he gets to the ninth circle. That's reserved for the worst of the worst. Traitors. Mutineers. The treacherous. People who betrayed positions of trust. In the middle of it is a frozen lake. And locked inside the ice, with his eyes kept open for eternity so he has to see all he has done, is Judas. Anyone who would betray the Brady's trust and report this stuff to the biggest gossip sheet in the country should be frozen in there too, with their faces pressed up against Judas' ass. 

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I feel dirty for even writing about this. But sometimes you have to go where the current events take you.