This Beautiful $1.9 Million Apartment on Real Estate TikTok Is Perfect For Young Couples, Remote Workers, People Who Enjoy Taking A Dump In Their Bedroom
The fact I was sent this video in the context of potential blog topics was a strong hint that it wasn't for me to marvel at the architectural design; and as I'm not currently exploring a move to Canada, it didn't seem to be a recommendation or a helpful peek at current vacancies in the Toronto rental market. Had I stumbled on it myself without any foreshadowing however, I'm not sure I would have found much to criticize — for 34 seconds, the apartment seems positively delightful, at least to a perpetually cramped New Yorker with 15 years of the "Manhattan Real Estate"-equivalent of battered wife syndrome.
There are a lot of things to appreciate
1. The very long, very narrow layout.
Long and narrow is a feature, not a bug. There is absolutely nothing wrong with long and skinny, in fact surveys and anecdotal evidence show most women prefer it. Living in it I mean. Sure, it may look better in pictures to show off to your friends, but when it comes to the comfort and pleasures of everyday life, girth space is overrated.
2. It's Utilitarian
Every renter in a heavily-populated area knows what matters isn't necessarily the space, but what you can do with it. The utility of this apartment is best highlighted by the modern bike storage — a quick glance from afar through a computer screen without your glasses on and you might even think this was a sculpture on loan straight from the MOMA.
I'm not much of a biker— my experience with biking is mainly limited to heavy sighs and angry muttering under my breath as another grown man in full spandex and 6 Livestrong bracelets creates a 40-car backup by peddling in the middle of the road. But who knows what could happen. Maybe they'll start banning gas powered cars before any of the technology and infrastructure is even remotely in place to support electric ones and a bike will be the only option.
3. Dining area
I believe this is a "dinette"? Nobody needs an entire room of the home dedicated to formal dining and a prominent display of grandma's fine china; on the other hand, eating off the Ikea coffee table does a number on your back.
4. Open Kitchen
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This wide open, windowed kitchen is like a dream. Look at all that counter space to set my DoorDash meals down on.
Replace those nice bottles of wine with empty Captain Morgan handles and cover the fridge with cardboard cutouts from empty racks of every variety of Ice beer and then we'll really be in business.
5. Movie Theater Experience
specifically, the movie theater experience of showing up late and finding the only seat left is dead center, first row.
The upshot is you forget all about how an adult ticket, large popcorn and large Sprite came to $43.50 when you get the chiropractor bill.
6. An upstairs
God I miss housing levels. I would kill to ascend or descend stairs and still find myself inside my home.
7. $200 Plasma Screen TV
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8. Perfectly fitted bed
Imagine all the cool military-style leaps and barrel rolls you could do to get to your side of the bed.
Seriously though, start imagining, you're going to find an extreme dearth of other options.
9. An outside!
No explanation necessary. An apartment could literally function as the city's main sanitation plant — if it has a balcony, I'd happily sign for anything shy of 5K.
Alas, it's that remaining 35th second that throws the otherwise charming apartment into a whole new light.
There are a couple of items in this screenshot so I'll clarify: it's the toilet.
The exposed, open-air toilet in the bedroom is what gives me hesitation.
It really illustrates my point when you stop the video at the exact moment "$1.95 M" and a fat sack of cash directly aligns with the bedroom toilet.
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I've been known to have tastes and expectations often described as "bougie", which certainly has a negative connotation— you could even say it's derogatory. But I don't mind. I like what I like. I like taking advantage of modern conveniences and luxuries. A lot of thought and effort and intellect went into developing new technologies over the years and I owe it to all those old dead people to enjoy the fruits of their labor. They didn't want me taking a shit next to my girlfriend's face while she sleeps. I'm sure of it. I don't know who it was exactly who invented "the door", but I know he wanted me to close it and poop behind it. And if that's just one small way I can honor my ancestors, I'll do it happily.
In conclusion this apartment remains available for any of you less particular about your enclosure situation while experiencing diarrhea.
Just be sure to insist during negotiations that the artwork stay put.
