Sydnie Wells Is The Most Revolting Human I Know
Myself and Chief are once again joining Sydnie this fall for a buck hunt on Barstool Outdoors. You can watch our first two videos here:
Bagged a doe and Chief didn't because he's an unathletic doofus. What an idiot!
This time, as a now expert outdoorsman, I'm challenging myself by using a bow. Last year I used .20 gauge which, as Bobby Bacala would say, is more "unsportsmanlike".
Immediately after I slocked my first career doe, I aptly named her "Carl":
It was a learning experience for sure. I never in a MILLION years thought I could kill any animal, let alone a mammal of that size. Once I did though, the rush of adrenaline was so crazy that I was instantly hooked. I will feed on that adrenaline every fall for the rest of my life.
Once I shot it though, I had no idea what I needed to do next. It's like yo… I got 170 pound carcass here. I'm not lifting that shit. It's heavy. You tell me why I need to lift does when I'm strong enough to throw a 91MPH pitch?
Fuck. That.
Honestly though - my suburban ass had only shot a gun a small handful of times prior to last year's hunt and never once at a living being. So we tracked the blood, found the deer about 50-60 yards away, loaded it up in Sydnie's pickup, and took it home to field dress it. Obviously she did most of the heavy lifting because I'm not about to touch a dead animal. Sorry Sydnie.
And by field dress it, I mean I watched Sydnie disembowel a freshly diseased deceased Carl for like 4 seconds until I started puking my brains out. That's when I knew Sydnie was a savage beast. Subhuman, even. Nobody I know is cut like her.
But her savagery knows no bounds. Field dressing an animal is one thing…. but she'll also just shoot a snot rocket all over a co-workers car without batting an eyeball:
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Like I said; it's the most vile thing I've ever seen. It wasn't one of those hard boogers that shoot out of your nose like a BB, either. It was a glob of disgusting ass snot made its way all over my passenger handle because the wind didn't catch it. Revolting, abhorrent behavior. It made me sick to my stomach. But I shouldn't be surprised. Chick is a total savage in every way. She has more of a ballsack than I ever will.
Chief and I are fully armed with bows. We're going to be murdering central IL does at a rate that would make Son of Sam proud. We have a TON of hunting content on deck for everyone. Maybe this year Chief will get his first deer. Probably not though, because he's a pathetic fucking BUM. I mean look at this clown!!!
Almost as revolting as the 4 pound ball of snot on my Nissan Altima's handle. Gross.
Subscribe to Barstool Outdoors to get the videos when they drop. Deer season is here and we can't wait to get out in the rut (or whatever you call it, I forget)