The 100% Correct Rankings Of All 32 Of The New Reverse Retro NHL Jerseys

 

The NHL has a new crop of reverse retro jerseys ready to roll this year. Because I have nothing better to do, I will now rank them. I couldn't decide if I should do 1-32 or 32-1...so I chose 1-32. So scroll to the bottom if you want worst to best, or scroll normally if you want best to worst.

 

 

 

1) Florida Panthers

 

 

It's really just beautiful. The powder blue, the palm tree crossing with the stick, it's a *chef's kiss*, simply a delightful jersey. Also reminds me of the old Thrashers powder blues, which is a good thing, not a bad thing, to be reminded of. Those ruled.

 

2) Washington Capitals

 

 

The Caps really don't miss when it comes to alternates. The red screamin' eagle jersey was the top seller in the NHL last year, and it wouldn't shock me if this is the top seller this year. My very first jersey I ever bought was a black Capitol Dome Jaromir Jagr jersey, so despite those unpleasant flashbacks, this thing is an absolute beauty of a gem of a sweater and I'll probably end up buying one.

 

3) Montreal Canadiens

 

 

Oh la la, très belle!! J'adore! 

Seriously, that could be a number 1 seed and I'd have no complaints. Channeling their inner-Expos while keeping the Habs tradition alive, they knocked this out of the park. 

4) Anaheim Ducks

 

 

I can't help it- I am, and always have been, a sucker for all the Ducks jersey, and I actually think I prefer the smooth, SoCal orange over the old school purple joints. Yeah the original "Mighty Ducks" jersey bring out the nostalgia, and people will say this is an over-seed, but the crisp orange-on-white Ducks jerseys are just so clean. 

 

 

5) Boston Bruins

 

 

The Pooh Bear jersey has always been divisive in the world of sports. Some have loved it, and others have LOATHED it. I always thought it was neat. It looked cool on yellow last year, but to repeat a word- it looks clean as hell on the white. I always love the lettering on the back and the shoulder patch as well. Hopefully all the Pooh haters can admit this is the best look for the Pooh face so far.

 

6) Vegas Golden Knights

 

 

I had a hard time keeping this out of the top 5. If the backend of Barstool Sports wasn't so annoying to use I'd probably flip it with the Bruins if we're being honest. This shit rules. I can't help it- they nailed it. Usually a gimmick like being glow in the dark would be lame as hell, but they make it work and it's so perfectly Vegas. Good job by them, truly.

 

7, 8, 9, 10) Coyotes, Kings, Sharks, Avalanche

 

 

11, 12, 13, 14, 15) Stars, Kraken, Islanders, Jets, Blue Jackets

 

 

16, 17, 18, 19, 20) Canucks, Senators, Oilers, Sabres, Penguins

 

 

21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27) Wild, Blues, Predators, Devils, Canes, Leafs, Tampa

 

 

28) Flyers

 

 

Absolute snoozefest. P.U.

 

29) Rangers

 

 

Not new, exciting, nothing. Same thing we've seen for years. Terrible effort.

 

30) Flames

 

 

Probably being unfair, but I hate that wonky stripe so much it's legit ruining my day. And I fucking love the white "C". I love all the Flames jerseys. So yes I'm being unfair, but my god, fix that stupid fucking stripe.

 

31) Blackhawks

They haven't even tweeted their jersey yet. Maybe the social media guy is like nah, I'm all set, because it's that boring and pointless and ugly. 

 

32) Red Wings

 

 

They copied Chicago's but added more stupid stripes. It's bad, man. If history never repeats, why did they make this thing? Plus the flying wheel is already awesome, just reverse some colors, it's right there for the taking! Shit, make them Detroit Lions colors or something, anything besides this. Yuck, yuck, yuck.

 

There ya have it, the 100% correct rankings.