Science Proves That Patrick Mahomes Is The Football Kenny Powers
Jay Biggerstaff. Getty Images.As the days go by, the pain of losing the Super Bowl as an Eagles fan has seemed to get deeper and deeper. It's one of the lowest feelings imaginable as a sports fan. But try as I might, I still don't have any hatred in my heart towards Patrick Mahomes.
He is the man who has the ball, he's the man who can throw it faster than fuck. So that is why he is better than everyone in the world. He's not trying to be the best at exercising.
Guy just likes to win games and get drunk as fuck. Looks like he consumed roughly 100 crispy blue mountains yesterday. Hard to hate a guy like that. Especially once you realize he's just the football equivalent of Kenny Powers, which has now been scientifically proven.
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But wait. The comparisons don't just stop at the fact that both these dudes throw the ball faster than fuck, both of them love to win as much as they love to party, and that they sound alike.
Keep in mind that Kenny Powers can only reach his full potential because he has a shithead little sidekick along with him for every step of the way.
Who does Patrick Mahomes have following around behind him every step of the way? Exactly.
So while losing a Super Bowl still stings like a mother fucker, it at least soothes the pain a little to know the Eagles lost to the People's Champion, the Shelby Sensation, the Reverse Apache Master, the Man with the Golden Dick, Doctor Cock & Balls, Kenny "Fucking" Powers.
Sidenote: I just saw Jerry's blog about how the Chiefs being in the wrong formation for that go-ahead touchdown makes the loss worse for the Eagles. Respectfully I have to disagree. I feel like that moment just shows how unreal Pat Mahomes is. Dude realized they were in the wrong formation, made sure he adjusted at the line and motioned Skyy Moore into the right spot and then did the damn thing himself. I'd much rather just tip my cap to Pat Mahomes' greatness than admit the Chiefs out-coached the shit out of the Eagles staff.