Growing up in Creationism School
It's been a slow couple of days at Barstool, and nothing is going on in the sports world, so I figured I'd waste everyone's time by writing about what you all are just dying to know: the origins of clickbait and its place on the internet. Everything in my life has been handed to me on a silver platter, and I grew up in a foreign country that pushes creationism, so I don't know anything, and 99% of you should stop reading now.Â
I start my day off by insulting my mother. I don't care that everyone she comes in contact with loves her or that she came here to help me; I'll take as many indirect shots at her as I please. Â
Then I text my coworkers to see how they're doing. Sometimes I don't get a response. I always think I've lost service but then Jordyn and Alanna reply?Â
Back to the ones that don't reply, one of them is really cool. She has built a cult-like following in the archeology sector due to her groundbreaking research on the prehistoric origins of civilization and her ability to shift concepts generally accepted by modern academia continuously. I thought archeology was being sexually attracted to dinosaurs, but she started screaming when I asked her that? Are dinosaurs even real? Is God?Â
She does Tweet me back, though. That's all that matters.
Interesting.Â
I keep my distance from her in person because I've seen her walk out of the restroom without washing her hands. Do people do that? Someone needs to cover that topic, I've never thought twice about it, but I'm sure that debate could lead to big strides in advancing the human race. Kirk washes his hands and then eats the soap. I might have to give that a try – there are no second chances in this thing called life, so why take a single risk?Â
Speaking of agents, I don't know why some can't stay in their lane and stick to the stringent blueprint that their founder laid out decades ago. A few have figured out how to do what they enjoy for their job and they get results every time, but I can't stand them. They're supposed to be intellectuals, not people who do their job well.Â
After insulting my mother one last time under the guise of a preemptive apology, I begin my work day. But I'm a moron and have no clue what my job entails, so I have a tab saved on my laptop for how to create content.Â
I then funnel money to Gaz through multiple shell corporations – all with methodical names like 'Barstool IG number 4" so they can't be traced back to me – as a bribe for him to post our latest bit on precipitation on the main account. The number one thing to know at Barstool is that Gaz doesn't care at all about what will preform well. He doesn't care about metrics or company success; he wants to make sure the paper trail can't be traced back to him.Â
But it's not that easy. Some years ago a good amount of software engineers hit the open market and Barstool hired a couple. One accidentally applied for EIC and even though his resume had one off centered sentence saying 'I used to
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do the government's bidding by
censoring any content thatÂ
my feeble mind disagrees
with by blocking the post
and then apologizing by saying uhhh …
I was in a hard spot don't be mad at me plz,' he got the job.Â
Ok shit my bad I thought Nate The EIC could read my blog drafts. Kinda like If you think I know what's going on, you must have grown up on Mars with me and can talk for days about creationism. Cause I'm just not that smart.Â
And that is the entire point. I don't think some of you get what's going on. Which is unfortunate, because it's simple.Â
We are just being ourselves.Â
When we record, other than a loose outline of 3-4 topics, we just start talking. The vibe feels like two friends hanging out in sweats on a Thursday night, eating sushi. We laugh our asses off in that pod room. We love recording days. We spend the entire work day in the pod room. An entire two hours.Â
We do have a few rules. We make conscious effort to never be mean, put each other down, and be honest about what is going on in our lives. We’ve have cried in those podcast rooms and helped each other through some really tough times. We try to be vulnerable, yet provide some value for the listener. That's the meat of the episode. We mix that with silly "stupid" conversations that come about organically. The entire episode gets clipped, we can't help what the Main account chooses to post. And we don't care either, because we are just being ourselves through and through. We love both types of clips. Silly, stupid, and vulnerable. That's the real us.Â
The clips called into “question” this week are the silly, stupid ones. I the internet could use a little bit more silly and stupid. I love those clips, they are a breath of fresh air.Â
This week has been full of opinions, we operate on facts, numbers and being ourselves. And as it turns out, that is a pretty good formula.Â
If you think we are dumb, good. If you think we are smart, good. Just as long as you do think about it ;)Â
People will always try to change you and criticize you. Just know, we won’t be one of them.Â
Our clips and podcast won’t change. Cause as the saying goes, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.Â
I checked the downloads, it’s not broke.Â
we love MGP and everything it stands for. It's a good thing we built it on sturdy foundation because when the wind blows, we don't sway.