Nikola Tesla Was A Pervert Who Claimed He Loved A Gross Animal Like A Man Loves His Wife

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Nikola Tesla was a Serbian American engineer and physicist known for his groundbreaking work in electric power. He is considered a genius, with numerous patents to his name, but he had an eccentric side that many people found difficult.

Among Tesla’s quirks was his fondness for pigeons. When living in New York, he spent hours each week feeding pigeons in the park and routinely took home any that were injured so he could nurse them back to health. He often kept the windows open in the hotel suite in which he lived so pigeons could visit when they wished, resulting in a horrible mess. He once even asked a hotel chef to prepare a special mix of seeds for his feathered friends. Tesla’s acquaintances found his passion for pigeons puzzling because the inventor was a well-known germophobe.

Tesla never married, but he admitted to falling in love with a very special white pigeon that visited him regularly. He reportedly said, “I loved that pigeon as a man loves a woman, and she loved me. As long as I had her, there was a purpose to my life.” Tesla’s bachelor lifestyle likely stemmed from his belief that intimacy would interfere with his scientific research. “I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men,” he once observed.

We need to begin this blog from a place of honesty. Tesla looks horny. Tesla Looks hooooooorrrrnyyyyy. That's a horny face if I've ever seen one but apparently, he only has eyes for birds. Now, I'm not a medical doctor but I think it's fair to say Tesla was a giant weirdo. Huge. Now, it might be from a neurodivergent brain that gives him savant-type skills for inventions because it is possible he had more important discoveries than anyone else. Some have said that ole Thomas Edison stole ideas from Tesla or the other way around. Hard to argue and I won't because I don't care about that. I care that Tesla was horny for pigeons. Call that bird-brained. 

We all know that pigeons are a common bird found in many cities and can be seen as both beneficial and problematic. Some love them because they crawl all over the Bird Lady in Home Alone. Pretty cool I guess. She looks gross as fuck though because of all the pigeons so when someone says they are in love with a pigeon and basically implies that they wanna dick down a bird, it raises some eyebrows. We all know that pigeons are great for picking up scraps of food but a lover? A lifemate? Nah. No way, Sway. 

That being said, some people may find pigeons unpleasant due to their droppings (poop) and aggressive behavior. Others, on the other hand, may appreciate pigeons for their beauty and their ability to coexist with humans in urban environments like Central Park or that one square where people take pictures all the time getting engaged. I cant remember where it is but I do remember it's foreign. Google historical site ruined by pigeons. I'm sure it will come up there. Additionally, it is important to note that pigeons, like all animals, have an important role to play in the ecosystem, and it is our responsibility to ensure their well-being. We must be good stewards of all animals so do not kill them when you see them. Also do not propose to them or try to start a serious relationship, long distance or not. 

Anyway, I look positively on inventions, relationships, and scientific pursuits in general but I cannot abide an inventor falling in love with a pigeon in a romantic way. Love it as a child, a pet, or a companion; That's fine. But wanna tongue kiss it and shit, no. 

I'm sorry but that's how I feel. Do not form a romantic relationship with a bird. It's a hard and fast rule I have. The tenets of those rules are non-negotiable.