Dastardly Woman Rips A Strong Piss Into A Cup And Preposterously Dumps It Down A Community Mailbox
Besides being disgusting, one fact sticks out in my mind. This wasn't the first time. There was no fumbling around and figuring out what to do. Nope, she came to that mailbox with a plan and she executed it. I think if it was your first time, you don't pull your pants down all the way. You probably pull em down juuuuuussttt enough to fit the cup right under the ole coochie. But, when doing that, as many scholars have said, you risk dumping a full cup of piss right down your britches.
That's not something I want. It's not something you want but I will tell you who doesn't want it the most. Well, there are two.
1. The mail person. No chance would you expect a box full of piss getting unloaded into a mailbox. Just no way. Postal workers expect a certain level of danger. Each and every day they deliver junk mail and some birthday cards knowing that they are in grave danger. What kinds of danger? Well,,,,
Dog attacks: Mail carriers often have to interact with dogs during their deliveries. Unfortunately, not all dogs are friendly. Some dogs can become aggressive and attack the carrier. There is a reason it's an old trope. It's because postal workers get that ass ate up by dogs.
Slip and fall accidents: Mail carriers often have to walk on slippery surfaces during inclement weather, such as snow or ice. This can increase the risk of slip and fall accidents at levels that have never been seen. Each year, regrettably, I laugh as I watch dozens of delivery drivers slip and fall down driveways.
2. Birthday cards. There wasn't nothing like getting a birthday card in the mail as a kid. You rip that bad boy open without caring a lick about what the card says or looks like. You just want to see that sweet, sweet greenback so you can run to the store and waste that fucker right away. Waste it on what? Big league chew and some baseball cards. It's the only way.
Anyway, before you piss in a mailbox, make sure it's no one's birthday. No one wants to ruin a kid's birthday.