A New Cheese Rolling Champion Is Crowned (Right After She Got Her Brained Checked For Getting Knocked Out Cold By The Cheese)

Cheese rolling competitions are wild events that take place in some parts of England, particularly in Gloucestershire which our Massholes can pronounce like it ain't no thang. The event involves participants chasing a round wheel of cheese down a steep hill, with the aim of reaching the bottom before the cheese does or before they shatter their legs and faces on the hill. The tradition dates back several centuries and has become a popular and iconic event and one that is blogged about nearly every year on this here website. 

The cheese used in these competitions is typically a Double Gloucester cheese (DELICIOUS), which is a hard and crumbly variety but if you're gonna get smacked in the head with a cheese, sigh me up for a brie, brother. Thehard-ass cheese is rolled down the hill, and participants, often wearing protective clothing, chase after it without a care in the world. The hill is usually very steep, making the race both challenging and dangerous as fuck. 

The goal is to catch or cross the finish line before the cheese does, but this is often hard due to the cheese's speed and unpredictable bouncing. Some have called it flubber. I still call it cheese, baby. That's some cheese rolling to crush your face. Racers often end up tumbling and rolling down the hill, resulting in spectacular falls and sometimes injuries. Despite the risks, people participate in the competition for the fun, tradition, and excitement of the event.

Anyway, if you win this event, you get a 7lb block of cheese, a concussion, and the right to call yourself a cheese champion. So yeah, I'd say it's worth it. And, a shoutout to this year's winner. She didn't sound concussed at all. In the biz, we call that getting back up on the saddle again.