The US Treasury Secretary "Accidentally" Ate Four Portions of Magic Mushrooms In China And Now People Are Flocking To The Restaurant
JOHN THYS. Getty Images.US Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen reportedly ate an order of potentially hallucinogenic mushrooms at a restaurant during a visit last week to Beijing.
During her visit, the secretary and her team stopped at a location of Yi Zuo Yi Wang, a restaurant chain specialising in dishes from the Yunnan province, where a food blogger on Weibo spotted the top official eating a variety of Chinese dishes.
“When I walked by their table on my way to the washroom, I slowed down to take a glance at the dishes they ordered,” the blogger wrote.
“Our staff said she loved mushrooms very much,” the restaurant wrote on social media. “She ordered four portions of jian shou qing (a Yunnan wild mushroom species). It was an extremely magical day.”
Honest to god, she deserves it. If you work in government for long enough, you deserve to take a trip to China and eat a little bit of magic mushrooms. Now, I dunno if these mushrooms were getting her ripped outta her mind, but I sure hope that they did. If she was stone-cold sober, her new-found status as a mushroom influencer would essentially be drug-related stolen valor. You cant move the needle in the mushroom world if you really didnt get all that high. To me, that's a level of deceit that has no place in government but I dont think that's what happened. I think she had a long flight, saw the shrooms, and said, "Broncos Country, let's ride."
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I hope that was the case. I hope that she was so elevated that she believed she was watching the final Dead and Company Show with Big Cat and PFT.
Imagine the types of meetings you'd be in as the Secretary of the Treasury. It legit might be the worst job on the face of the earth. Boring. Mundane. Tedius. Mindnumbing. Every single day would be the worst day of your life if you're the US Treasurer until you pull those piles of mushrooms closer and closer to your gullet. Letting those tensions loose might be exactly the thing we need to get China and US relations back on track. We'll never know because we are too scared to do drugs on an international stage.
Like I always say on ZBT, we gotta do something to make folks wanna get back into the government again. You gotta let young folks smoke weed on active duty and you gotta let the old secretaries unwind a little bit with the Dead and Company after munching down on four plates full of shrooms. If we do that, America will be back in a big way- higher and happier than ever.
PS: Drone Shows > Firework Shows