Subway Is Offering Free Sandwiches For Life If You Legally Change Your Name To Subway

This could be huge for whoever got stuck with a really shitty name growing up. I think a lot of people are completely screwed when they are born because their parents are morons and give them a name like Brandon. Let me tell you something, if Subway Walker was a thing he would be an offensive lineman for the Saints making millions of dollars right now. I think this could be a good move for a lot of people because Subway really isn't that bad of a name. 

I love Subway so this definitely crossed my mind, but I am all about convenience and I don't even want to think about the process of doing this. Also is every Subway going to honor this? Am I going to have to get on the phone with management every time I go to a Subway and explain to them I am the guy who changed his name to Subway. They all laugh and I get my chicken bacon ranch. 

I feel like the only time this is appropriate to do is when you are an old bag that lives right around the corner from Subway. You are bored, retired, and your wife doesn't care about you anymore because you are both Saggy messes. Get your ass down to the wherever you change your name and eat Subway every day till you die. It is either that or you are really poor and your kid will be eating Subway every day until he can afford something else. Watch baby Gronk's dad do this so he can try and get some sponsorships or something from them because he is an asshole.