We're On To Arizona
Yup, that handsome, strapping, definitely not fat young man said it all for the Giants Week 1 performance vs. the Cowboys. It's actually crazy to think how good the Giants looked during that first drive before the O-Line torpedoed it with a false start and a dogshit snap. Then this happened and the game was over before the first commercial break, even if we didn't know it.
The Giants getting absolutely mollywhopped after waiting all offseason for the NFL to start was like getting a new car then having someone puke before you could even leave the dealership parking lot. Things may get better, but the new car smell that comes with the hope of a new season is gone. On the bright side, I don't think things can actually get worse considering that seemingly was the worst game ever played in the history of the NFL.
Where does this leave the Giants? In a Must Win Game for next week. I know it's only Week 2 but have you seen the Giants schedule? It looked tough back when we thought the Giants could steal the Cowboys game and our biggest worry was Darren Waller's hamstring.
I also don't want anybody thinking that I am making Week 2 a Must Win because the Cardinals have the lowest Win Total Over/Under in almost 30 years. I promise you that's not the case because the Cardinals actually showed up to play football on Sunday while the Giants looked more overmatched than Bishop Sycamore.
Some other quick thoughts about last night and moving forward...
- Thoughts and prayers to any Giants fan that went to that game last night for what has to be a Top 5 worst Big Blue game I can remember. Sitting in the pouring rain watching your team get its shit pushed in by the Cowboys on national television while slowly sobering up from hours tailgating is honestly worse than whatever Hell is. This guy knows what I'm talking about.
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- I'm at a loss for what to do with the offensive line, which is something I've been saying for at least a fucking DECADE now. I thought we had at least figured out how to not be an embarrassment and maybe just maybe had a couple of good guys that could turn this into a decent line again one day. Welp, that didn't happen last night.
Also at this point, it is honestly a toss up which player is better out of the two first round picks the Giants got from the Bears in the Justin Fields pick: Kadarius Toney or Evan Neal.
- Speaking of that trade, it hurts even more when you remember who was taken after Fields after the Giants traded down.
Tim Nwachukwu. Getty Images.- I also didn't know about this little fun fact until I started writing the blog because I was streaming during the game and couldn't hear any of the broadcast.
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- I don't know why the Giants had Daniel Jones in the game for as long as they did. But if they did it while also knowing Andrew Thomas was hurt, I'm thinking they were trying to kill him in order to get his contract off that books. I may be the President of the Daniel Jones Hype Group, but even I can't spinzone that performance, no matter how awful the O-Line was against Dallas yet again.
- I don't even know how to feel about the defense even though they weren't exactly lights out because the game was essentially over before they took the field. I will say that I feel confident this sick son of a bitch will have his guys ready to take off the head of Josh Dobbs or whoever is QB for the Cardinals next week.
- I don't know how Thomas McGaughey still has a job as special teams coordinator here other than him having a name that looks like it should be that of a special teams coordinator. But that shit has to change pronto. He was brought in during the first year of The GM That Shall Not Be Mentioned back in 2018, yet has somehow been on the staff of THREE different head coaching regimes with very little in common. I would say that's understandable if the Giants special teams was great, good, or even average during that time. But I honestly can't remember the last time I've felt anything but awful about Big Blue's special teams and that includes when we had a fucking ex-special teams coach as head coach.
- Whatever. Next week is a Must Win. If you win a Must Win, you get the post Must Win great vibes that can spur a winning streak. The Giants follow up the Cardinals game with checks schedule a Thursday night road game four days later against the Niners, who looked better than every team other than the Cowboys team that just shit all over the Giants.
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I really hope this doesn't become the gif of the season but after one week, that's where we stand after one week where the playoffs seemed like a real goal.